With a situation that has just inspired thousands of strangers to form strong opinions, a woman recently asked the internet whether or not she should tell her husband of 15 years that their teenage daughters aren't his.
"Maury! Maury! Maury!"
While keeping her identity confidential, here is the question she posed to the gawking masses:
"So what should I do?"
I am love married for 15 years now and living happily with my husband and two daughters 14 & 13 years old. He is not their real father and he is not aware of that.
From my college days when I was dating him, I used to have casual sex with guys around. Please don't ask me about counts.
After marriage I became a housewife and was less social. But this didn't change me. I still get to meet guys when my husband was out which included his cousin, friends, laundry man, neighbours etc.
So in short I did it with multiple guys. And I have no regrets, I still do it but less frequently.
When my daughters where 5 & 6 I got their dna tested and as expected came to know he isn't their father. He is a good man though, but I feel if I tell him, he will leave me, and that will affect my daughter’s life financially.
So what should I do ?
So basically, despite how "love married" she was, this woman has slept with any human who has had a reason to ring her doorbell, and the only thing she knows for sure is her kids aren't her husbands.
Her question was viewed thousands of times and inspired every know-it-all to come out of the woodwork. Here's some of the best advice:
1. Shelley Harris, a child welfare worker:
You need to hire an excellent family law attorney and get some sound legal advice. Do this BEFORE you tell your husband of 15 years you have been duping him about your fidelity within the marriage and the parentage of his children.
2. Jaime Mackey, divorcee with "a LOT of experience in this category!"
Well sorry but I'm going to say what others have avoided - shame on you. Your decisions affect more than just yourself and you only look out for you.
Should he know that he's not their father yes, but it's been so long it will crush him and the girls - so does it matter at this point? I would imagine he is dad on birth certificates etc.
However - you must tell the girls especially when they grow up and start having families of their own. This fact will effect their medical history.
3. Guy Lucien, gives the guy's opinion.
Simple answer : Truth be told you said you have NO REGRETS and that line did it for me. ( yes I've read this only 4 times and that's the only thing that stuck out to me ).
Should you tell him ? Yes. A man who's been there for 10+ years for you and your kids deserve all the truths possible. You'd be surprised on how forgiving and naive loving spouses can be in the name of " love and children ". Yes even though they aren't his he deserves to know. Many men that I know don't really care about the biological thing but in your case you're worried about finances - oddly enough you should also tell him that. Quite frankly my dear you are a shitty human being - the 10% of you’s out there give the 90% a bad name.
4. Fiona Dempsey suggests doing some inner work before dropping this bomb.
I guess before I dumped such horrible news on a innocent family, I would examine my motives. My self. And question what is it, about me, that I feel a need to do that? Do I need counselling? Am I a sex addict? Are there sex addict meetings in my area that I can start to attend for free and start looking at my behaviour and perhaps figure out a way to make AMENDS to my family without HURTING them more? Meaning, you do not have the right to peace of mind by dumping a pile of garbage onto unsuspecting family members so you can feel relieved you finally got something “off your chest.” If I was you, I would leave those kids and your husband alone, and you go work on yourself and your harmful behaviour. In private. Make amends by changing yourself.
5. Misty McCloud, who was "recently diagnosed with BPD; Long term depression/anxiety," has an armchair diagnosis for the mom.
1. Have you ever considered the possibility that either you are a psychopath or you have psychopathic traits? Because that is what you sound like from everything that I've read about them. You have absolutely no empathy for your husband, and very little for your daughters. You do exactly as you please with no regard for the consequences and no remorse. You are highly sexualized and extremely reckless. In order to attract these men I'm sure sexuality and charm do the trick.
2. Think I have hit on pretty much all the psychopathic traits I find in your post. Maybe you should get diagnosed. Then, leave your husband with the girls and lead the kind of life you really want to live without hurting them further.
Almost everyone else suggests that she tell the husband, let him take custody of the children, and move on to take advantage of another man. Go get 'em, tiger!