On Wednesday, Redditor jimmyg4life posted a picture of two tubes of toothpaste, side by side: one having been squeezed the correct way, and one mangled, messy, and disgusting. He wrote, "I have my reasons for making my wife use her own tube."
This is, of course, a completely unacceptable toothpaste tube atrocity. Were they sharing a tube, this would easily be grounds for a divorce ("irreconcilable toothpaste differences"). Many other Redditors felt the same, dubbing his wife "a monster," and "a degenerate," and sharing their own toothpaste tube horror stories (and other assorted horrible messy spousal habits).
Redditor joan_wilder added,
I did that, but she always ends up using mine, so I have to buy toothpaste that stands up/doesn't come in a squeeze tube. She's a f*cking animal.
User Fikis wrote,
My SO and a couple of our kids are like this, but with everything. Any kind of food packaging that they open looks like it was attacked by a wild animal. Cereal bags, chip bags, old-style milk cartons…did you f*cking try to gnaw this open?" Send them away to live in the woods.
DomPhotography speculated about the rest of jimmyg4life's bathroom (Neat freaks will undoubtedly find this image very upsetting):
Not pictured: Hair on the counter. Hair on the comb. Hair ties and bobby pins. Soiled underwear on the floor.
My wife takes off her dirty socks in bed and just leaves them under the covers. Then forgets about them and makes the bed, so when we get under the covers the next night there's dirty socks in there. I too married a monster.
Yes. Yes, you did.
I've married a gnarly handed overzealous monster as well. Unfortunately it might drive me even more crazy to have two toothpastes on the counter, so I just straighten it out, bunch the remaining toothpaste nearly near the evacuating end and wipe off the outside, once or a week or every ten days.
Mine too and for a while I did the same. BUT, every day of spending 10-15 seconds cleaning the cap and re-straitening the tube without her ever even noticing eventually wore me down after 6 or 7 years. I started to dread the sight of the tube. I KNEW I would have to be the one to bring order back to the bathroom, EVERY TIME. Did she think it magically fixed itself after she mutilated it every day? Is she waiting for me to lose my mind over this? Does she not care? What else has she monkey wrenched beyond recognition that I haven't noticed yet? I gave up...
Pyromaster55 has another gripe:
Why is this so goddamn hard?!? Every f*cking time she finishes a roll she just sticks the new one on top of the old one. there is a trashcan literally right below the holder, you don't even have to throw the old one away, you could just drop it and it would be where it belongs, it takes like 5 goddamn seconds, you're already sitting there, CHANGE THE GODDAMN ROLL.
As far as solutions go, there are these handy little guys, but they still don't prevent the cap from getting all crusty and gross. Hard to figure out what to do in situations like this, other than pack up, move out, and start a new life.