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My luck on Tinder has been bad.*

*all identifying photos have been replaced by our delightfully face-like Someecards logo.


So I took a bit of a break.

Online dating means putting yourself out there for hordes of anonymous prospective partners to look you over and judge.

FINE. Can they at least send an interesting first message?!


Goodbye.

These kinds of messages are far more discouraging than being called a pirate hooker. I mean, I responded to that guy. In general, I hate pick-up artists, especially the despicable concept of "negging" they've unleashed on the world. That's when a fella tells a lady she's plain enough to be approachable, or asks if she's from whore island, so she feels insecure and tries to seek his approval. Gross! But it shows some personality... like, I picture a man wearing a fedora, inhaling his own farts through a twisty straw.