The Reddit forum r/TIFU stands for "Today, I fucked up." It's a place where people post stories from their lives, and the most popular posts are—without fail—sexual fails. The following story has that and a disgusting amount more: butts, failure, sexy puns, a clever Lord of the Rings reference, and lots of dirty poo.

As you begin to read, you should know there's a happy ending and the couple's still together. Go ahead. This is the pinnacle of achievement for the written word: "TIFU by losing my wedding ring in my wife's asshole."