Madonna has a scary warning about penises for everyone.

Madonna has a scary warning about penises for everyone.
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Someone or "something" has got Madonna on lockdown.



Brilliant! #unapologeticbitch
A photo posted by Madonna (@madonna) on

Madonna appreciates good dick. She fears good dick. She is imprisoned by good dick. Maybe? This message seems straightforward on its surface, but the more you analyze it, the more likely you are to fall down a rabbit hole of scrolling through Madonna's Instagram account. I got totally sucked in searching for clues about what she could mean, and though it's mostly photos of her face, I started to put together a clearer picture. A dick pic, if you will.

Here are a few sample dick-owners/dick-wardens she might be referring to:

Rebel ❤️8 pac!! Hell to the Yeah!

A photo posted by Madonna (@madonna) on

Maybe this guy has a gate-slamming dick?

I hear you work at a Body Shop! @herbritts

A photo posted by Madonna (@madonna) on

First actual dick sighting:

Lonely Minotaur living for love! #artforfreedom #rebelheart

A photo posted by Madonna (@madonna) on

This dog loves pole:

Loving this! Bless yourself and Genuflect! Lol! #holywater #rebelheart

A photo posted by Madonna (@madonna) on

Must be her spirit animal.

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