14 elaborate marriage proposals gone horribly, horribly wrong.

14 elaborate marriage proposals gone horribly, horribly wrong.
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The pilot still curses their love to this day.

Marriage proposals — that romantic, time-honored ritual of buying a ring you can't afford, ruining the knee of your nicest pants, and publicly declaring, "Hey, let's ruin our lives together" — are such a commonplace occurance that it's easy to forget how fraught with potential humiliation they are. Here are some profoundly embarrassing reminders, from guys whose attempts to take their proposals to the next level just made the explosion bigger when it blew up in their faces.

 


He was so depressed he went into the locker room and shot himself with a tee shirt cannon.

 

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She's still pretty upset but, with a little time and a lot of Activia, it will pass.

 


Maybe his first mistake was thinking, "I should propose marriage in front of a Cinnabon." (Sbarro is the classier choice.)

 

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On the bright side, they got a free engagement announcement in the newspaper.

 


Anybody who decides to marry someone because "it's the season" completely deserves this.

 

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"We're not used to people doing things that are romantic." - Germany

 


Is it a bad sign when God turns his ocean into a giant fist and tries to tear the couple apart? 

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Believe it or not, this is only the second dumbest balloon-related engagement story on this list.

 


It's OK, man. There are plenty of other thirtysomething Australian women who dress like Justin Bieber in the sea.

 

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His attempt to buy a replacement ring with 9,000 sand dollars was unsuccessful.

 

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Where will you be when the ambien kicks in?  (Advance to around 1:20)

 

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He learned a very important lesson about love. And an even more important one about science.

 

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The photo of this man's proposal was sent to us by his cousin. Judging by his spelling skills, we assume the cousin is also the fiancé.

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