Not so bad, but starting to get a little "Hitch" there at the end.
Reddit has a penchant for being kind of awkward around issues dealing with the females. We won't really get into that. We first saw this post about a 21-year-old asking for advice on his first kiss yesterday, and frankly, we didn't know what to do with it. The folks over at Jezebel, however, had a pretty clear take on it: it was creeptastic.
After reading it a few times, we certainly agree there are creepy parts (see: his comment about what it's like when he actually has sex), but mostly, we just think sillythrowaway0 was being way, way, way, way too detailed. And a little too close to erotica. You're trying to teach a nerdy guy how to kiss, but this has the level of detail Reddit usually reserves for Ron Paul fan fiction or explaining why God doesn't exist. You think there's any way he'll remember this before his first kiss? We didn't even remember to breathe until after we'd already blacked out from fear.
Continued from the top:
So: grab her face with your fist for 10 seconds, don't suck teeth, then let her say something.
After that, he explains how to keep going, assuming she's not screaming at you:
After she asks what's going on, move quickly before your chance fizzles!
Awww yeah, here's where the oversharing really starts heating up:
TL;DR: Real men swallow.
Now we're crossing into Penthouse Letters territory:
Yep, we're totally above getting way too into this. Go on...
And if you're not already, uh, finished, here are some tips for the advanded kisser:
Pffff... we totally knew that. If you'll excuse us, we have to write down something unrelated.