After you've been on the receiving end of a particularly nasty rejection—after the crying, the hating, the angry and/or self-pitying texts to all your friends—there's only one more step in the grieving process: posting the story online. Thanks to several glorious, vengeful AskReddit threads, there is now a wealth of anecdotes out there from the rejected. Here are the best tales from people who have opened up about the most ridiculous ways they've ever been turned down.
Use these stories as a reminder that no matter how harshly you've been rejected, others have come back from way more savage turn-downs. Or, if you're the worst, use this to mine new ways to reject your own suitors in the future.
1. Let's start it off with the meanest thing ever done by a Canadian, which was done to redditor LooseStuul.
Despite the gross username, still didn't deserve it.
2. Snackburros was just way ahead of his time.
Definitely the type of first grader who wore a little suit to class.
3. This girl's story is far more relatable than anyone would like to admit.
Edit: I'm a girl, btw.
5th grade science class I get out my gel pens and carefully write my note to the cutest guy in class. I finished and took one last look down at my note; "Do you like me? Yes or No". At the bottom I made check boxes for yes and no.
Not only did that fucker check "no", he also wrote 'no' and circled no in my sentence. I've never trusted a Brandon since.
Everyone join together and subjugate the Brandons of the world.
4. Guigoudelapoigne met a girl who just wanted to make sure they were on the same, cruel page.
When I was like 14, I asked a girl to go out with me. Here is what she said : "But...you know you are ugly? Don't you..?".
I mean, you don't have to say that, you can just say "no". Why do you add more? This is just cruel.
That shit hurts when you're a teen.
It still hurts when you're an adult, but at least then you can drink.
5. The_Fad has a long story that only gets sadder as it goes on.
I'd been toying with the idea of pursuing a relationship with a cute, girl-next-door kind of girl just after high school. We had known each other through high school, but only really connected as friends about a year after we'd graduated over summer vacation when I'd come back to my parent's house for the summer.
I felt like she was into me too, and we went on a couple of us-only dates so I was fairly certain I had a shot. One night after hanging out with a bunch of other people, most everyone had gone home and we were hanging out for a little bit after. We'd walked to a nearby gas station to get something to drink and had made it all the way back to her driveway. It was like 3 in the fucking morning, so I wanted to go home and sleep, but I had one more thing to do before I left. It was a clear night, cool but not cold, and there was no moon so you could see more of the sky than usual (because we were in a residential area the streetlights still blocked out most of the stars), so it was pretty much as romantic as it was gonna get.
We were hugging goodbye and the hug lasted a little longer than normal, and when she pulled away she looked up at me and smiled. I tried to seize the moment in the stupidest fucking way possible: "Can I kiss you?"
Her eyes went wide and she blushed but didn't answer. She just hugged me again and buried her face in my chest. I wrapped my arms back around her and just kind of...like, patted her on the back. I heard what sounded like muffled sniffs coming from her and I hugged her tighter, "It's ok, don't cry." She responded with something that I couldn't understand but I figured I wouldn't respond immediately. She kept her face buried in my chest for a few more seconds, then pulled away. Her face was red as a beet and she unwrapped herself from me and clasped her hands behind her back. I asked her, "What'd you say? I didn't hear you."
She wouldn't meet my eye and spoke softly and quickly, "Oh, uh...I said iwasntcrying." She flashed me a smile and said thanks for hanging out and to text her tomorrow. I told her I would and as she went through her front door, I got in my car and just kind of sat there for a minute.
She hadn't been crying, I realized. She'd been laughing.
6. Chroncraft has great taste in both love and friendship.
When I was 15 there was a girl I had a crush on who worked at Dairy Queen near my house. I would go in and buy Blizzards every week just to see her but never made any attempt to ask her out because I was shy. She knew I had a crush on her, most likely because I couldn't stop blushing when I would go in.
I was always considered cute by the girls at school but never really had any courage to make moves. My best friend at the time was taller, lankier and a complete chodebag. He had some of the worst acne I had ever seen but always seemed to have luck with the ladies, probably because he was confident.
Fast forward a year, him and I are drinking at a party. Suddenly the door opens and a girl walks in. It's the girl from Dairy Queen. We all get to talking and drinks are being had, flirting is going on. I ask her if she wants to come to the bedroom to "hang out". My friend overhears this and chimes in: "or would you like to come with ME to the bedroom to hang out?"
She stands up, looks at the two of us and walks over to my friend, takes his hand and leads him to the bedroom.
I can't even begin to describe how low my heart sunk that day.
7. Ladies and gentlemen alike: please stop pretending you don't speak English. It's obvious to Urgullibl you speak English.
8. MattBarnthouse got the ole' one-person Irish good bye.
9. Another lost-in-translation moment, this one's really bad. But, this time it honestly seems like a mistake. That said, yeah, it's still really, really bad.
10. StableMatch's username is not referring to this encounter.
I was talking to a girl who was out with her friends. I guess I didn't realize she wasn't into it, one of her friend chimed in and was like "Why are you still talking to her? Look at her and look at yourself. Do you really think she'd be interested in you?" the girl I was talking with just laughed at how mean her friend was being to me.
Got to respect that kind of honesty though.
11. Great line. 10/10, would use again. Thank you NoButWait.
Use it if you wanna get slapped!
12. And take inspiration from the villain in Cananbaum's story if you definitely want to get punched in the face.
My sister isn't on here... but I want to tell her story because it made me feel really bad for her and help me understand what women can go through.
My sister I guess hooked up with a classmate a few times and says they got along very well, sometimes coming over to hookup and never getting the chance because they would get so lost in conversation.
So she asks him one day saying, "Hey we get along well and I think you're pretty attractive, maybe we can go on date?"
Without a beat the guy looks to her and says, "Listen, I'll have sex with you, but I can't be seen in public with you."
She claims she clocked the guy and never spoke to him again.
13. Another great line, this one from Wilksdog.
14. Here's a very bizarre, sad story from infinityprime with a quick follow up.
They actually did look similar.