Heartbroken people explain the telltale signs a relationship is doomed.

Heartbroken people explain the telltale signs a relationship is doomed.

A couple might fight constantly in public, but it's impossible to know if that bickering portends a more tender relationship behind the scenes, right? Not according to the following Redditors, who shared the sometimes-obvious signs they look for that indicate a couple's about to become the two latest residents of Splitsville.


Here are a few of the most poignant answers to Reddit's question: "What are the telltale signs that you're heading for a breakup?" Don't be nervous reading these; they're not experts or nothin'. Even if they do hit a little too close to your broken heart.


1. Phillip-che's words of wisdom should tell you: this list gets fairly melancholic.

When you miss the memories more than your partner.

2. Apparently you're supposed to enjoy the time you spend with your partner? PlinyPompei says:

When spending time together feels like a chore, not a pleasant afternoon. Edit: Some time apart is normal and healthy. I'm specifically talking about a sense of dread that wasn't present beforehand.

If they say this to you, you should break up immediately.

3. Mrthereverend's partner was clearly already married to her job.

They're very similar for the signs that you're heading for a layoff. Secret meetings that you're not invited to. Excessive recriminations for minor infractions. Making sure that somebody else can take care of all of your official duties.


4. The commenters were unable to refrain from making inappropriate jokes at mani_mani's expense.

From personal experience I would have to say when I find that I am unable to relax around my current partner. If I feel on edge because I'm nervous that we are going to get into an argument or I have to be on my best behavior to make you want to hang out with me then we are headed for a break up. I broke up with my last ex when I realized that my hands were shaking once I got in my car after hanging out.

Relationships are impermanent, Tea Lizard lasts forever.

5. Thescott2k had to make an exception for anyone playing League of Legends.

Your phone rings, it's her, and you don't want to answer

Edit: goddamn a lot of you are playing League

6. Take a break for a meta-comment on how you feel reading this.

This thread is like the WebMD for relationships... nothing but doubt and worry will ensue after reading.

Homer and Marge are the picture of love.

7. And one more meta-comment from chachicka22.

When this question makes you a little uncomfortable.

8. Back to business. Helpful has an anecdote that will have you paying close attention to your conversations.

When your SO goes out of their way to find differences between the two of you.

This can be a subtle one, but I have noticed it in almost every breakup I've had. For example, you watch a movie and you think your SO might like it, so you say "Hey, check out X, it's your sort of movie". When things are going well they might say "Oh, ok" but just before the breakup they are looking to put psychological distance between you, so it ends up turning into "Oh, that's really not the kind of movie I like."

It's subtle, but I think it happens when people are trying to justifying going out with someone else. They try to find as many differences between themselves and their current partner to make it seem like it's not a good fit, and they find more and more similarities with the new partner.

Of course, this is just a general pattern. If it happens one time don't think your SO is gonna break up with you tomorrow.


9. ShawnKelevra holds a grudge, but seems healthy enough to post anonymously about it on Reddit.

When you find texts between her and your friend talking about fucking.

Fuck you, Amanda!

10. Hard to find out if your SO is doing this one from JoeyBulgaria, but you know if you are.

You find yourself not bringing up that you have an SO so quickly into conversations with the opposite sex

11. Following up on number 10, shamanic_panic explains:

If you are in a strong relationship, the SO will be brought up naturally as they will be involved in the majority of your personal life. It isn't so much blurting out "oh I have a girlfriend btw" so much as "oh yeah, my wife and I visited there last year over summer, it was really good fun".

It should be coming up naturally, and if it isn't then it is a sign that something is wrong.

Always sucks to find out they're taken.

12. Go ahead, read this one from shippinglaw and start going through the checklist.

There is a psychologist (John Gottman) who can apparently predict whether couples will stay together with an 80% accuracy, after having spent 5 minutes with them. He refers to the four signs as being the four horsemen of the apocalypse:

Criticism - Instead of complaining about an issue in your relationship, you instead criticise the other person and make it their failing/fault.

Defensiveness - You refuse to accept responsibility for your own issues, and say it's the other person.

Stonewalling - 85% of the time, it's the man that does this. It is turning away from an issue, and refusing to discuss it, contemplate it, or resolve it. Instead, you blank the other person and act as if you couldn't care less what they say/do/feel.

Contempt - Abusing the other person through name-calling, sarcasm, and generally showing nothing but disgust for them. You have no interest in resolving the issues, you just want to hurt the other person. If you reach this stage, it is extremely unlikely that you will ever save your relationship.

Alternatively, she might be fucking another guy. Fucking Stacey.

TL;DR - There are 4 telltale signs to look out for, and you can fix them before they become too big of an issue if you look out for them.


13. And finally, Ace_Rockolla has some shade for OP.

Posting on reddit asking for telltale signs that you're heading for a breakup.