You think you know somebody, and then boom, you find out they’ve been keeping something from you for a long time. Sure, you could confront them about it and tell them about your feelings…or you could keep that secret to yourself, not letting them know that you know, and let them think that you don’t know what you know, you know?
Some people on Reddit recently revealed the secrets of they know their oblivious significant others are keeping from them, and it got intense.
1. IClogToilets pinpointed the one thing worse than dropping your own phone in the toilet.
My wife dropped my iPhone in a Port-A-Potty toilet. Luckily it has been so used there was a large pile of shit which gently held the phone above the liquid. She cleaned it off and gave it back to me. A year later I upgraded and gave her my old phone.
She insisted on purchasing a new cover even though I had a high-end OtterBox. I never understood why until one of the kids told on her.
2. Fawkes_Fly_Free has story number 2.
I am not sure what events led up to it but he pooped the bed. I am guessing he trusted a fart he shouldn't have but it happened. He didnt hide it very well, he just put the sheets in the washing machine but didnt start it so i smelled it. He claims the dog sharted but the boxers he attempted to hide( pretty haphazardly i might add) in the trash tell a different story. I have attempted to bring it up but i don't want to break the illusion he has of himself being the james bond of bed shitting.
3. Where there’s smoke, there’s fexian’s partner.
She smokes when I'm not home, I know this because I always move the router to the window where the signals best, when I come home the router is in a different position away from the window, I put it back without her knowing and call her out for smoking, she has no idea how I keep finding out!
4. notasugarbabybutok is game that her dude is gaming.
He spent a ton of money on bruins tickets this year. Whenever he got tickets to a match he claimed he got them for free through work but I know he paid for them. I don't really mind since he can spend his money how he wants, but it's funny to me that he thinks I wouldn't realize he's spending a few hundred bucks every time he goes to a game
5. Hope you’re enjoying this article, S.O. of Mynameisnotdoug!
I know her secret Twitter handle. But she might know my secret reddit account (this one) so perhaps it's a wash.
6. She sounds like a keeper, LeZygo.
The first time my SO and I slept together I woke up during the night to use the bathroom. I came back in the room and she farted one of the loudest farts I've ever heard. I started laughing like crazy and she almost woke up. Almost. We've been together for seven years.
7. A story both snacktacular and stale from becash123.
Everybody likes snacks, right? Some of us like chips, others like fruit, or yogurt. Well, my wife likes croutons. Frozen croutons to be exact and she tries to hide it like an alcoholic hides bottles of vodka. Where does she hide the croutons? In the freezer. At first I'd put them in the pantry when we get home from the grocery store, but they'd always end up in the freezer. I'd be like, "Uh, hon, what's up with the croutons in the freezer?" and she'd act like she had no idea what I was talking about. Now here's the thing, I've tried them and now I'm addicted to them too. So now I openly eat cold croutons out of the freezer as a snack, and she tells me what a weirdo I am while she eats half the bag with me. No idea why she's embarassed to admit what a genius she is for discovering such an awesome snack. BTW, the best kind is Chatham Village garlic and cheese flavor.
8. cakeisgrape knows what Lively things you get up to at night, Meester.
At night, once I go to bed, he binge watches Gossip girl.
9. Not quite a cat-astrophe for Saxophonebird.
He claims he doesn't love the new cat his parents adopted. Claims she always just sleeps in his room for some reason.
Motherfucker loves that cat so much.
10. Well here’s a legitimately heartbreaking one from ColdCocking.
She says she doesn't want children.
I know that she actually does want children, and that she's not capable of having them, due to stumbling upon some medical records.
11. Fattybatman3456 is living out the darkest Three’s Company episode of all time.
That's she's been cheating on me with the same person I've been cheating on her with.
12. Carpetthrowingaway didn’t mind being patronized.
Back when I was first starting to make my artwork public, I had a kickstarter campaign to fund a tour. I had just started dating my SO, but he gave a relatively significant amount of money anonymously. He tripped up in selecting his "backer's reward"- an original piece mailed to his house. When I saw the address, I definitely didn't suspect his roommates were just super supportive of my art.
13. HammerHeadKitty makes the grade.
I had a girlfriend who purposefully gave me bad notes for class so her average would be higher than mine.
14. Stop us if you’ve heard this one from deleted.
Once on a date with my ex, I complimented her necklace, which was a doll's eye on a chain. Dolls eyes "blink" when tilted, which was cool. She immediately said "oh thanks, I made it myself!" and talked about how she did it, but I'd already seen that same necklace at a store she shops at.
Also, she would sometimes say really beautiful things that were actually quotes from books. On one instance, I was reading a book about a year after we broke up and went, "huh...I've heard this before..."
15. birdsinparadise12’s ex got familiar with a cockatoo. (This is a bird pun.)
Ended up finding out that my (now ex) girlfriend was cheating on me after hearing one of my parrots pick up, "Oh, God, yes, Jim!" In a rather scratchy sensual voice.
Turns out they've been having sex where I keep him while I went to work. Dumped her ass the next time I saw her and told her.
16. The past is the past for koru999.
Was a prostitute & was in some adult films, & worked as an exotic dancer when young & hungry (Retired. Bought a food truck. I loved the coffee & grilled cheese sandwiches. Fell in love). Doesn't think I know. Doesn't know I don't care. I'll never tell.
17. Dump him, wetowetobetobe.
He hides chocolate bars in his work bag. Bastard.