Oh My Lord.

Hey, it's not easy being a parent, especially when you're trying to hold on to your Christian principles in an increasingly secular world and also SEX CAN KILL NOW.

This video from Christian Nightmares is titled, "7 Simple Rules for Dating My Christian Daughter," but it definitely seems like 7 simple rules for this girl to have the room-temperature-yogurt equivalent of dating experiences. Let's break it down:

Okay, keeping things in house. Sounds not at all insular or weird and many cults all over the world have similar strict rules about what the heart can want.

Sources: Christian Nightmares | h/t Jezebel