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I'm surprised the hotline picks up instead of just texting back "what?"

People don't call sex hotlines just because they're horny. A lot of them call because they're lonely and want to talk to someone. What better way to feel connected than to call a sex hotline that lets you simulate feeling so connected that you don't even need to have sex anymore? Enter the Post-Marriage Sex Hotline, brought to you by YouTube's fatawesome.

Also from fatawesome: Proof that the scariest part of any movie happens before the movie even starts.

Some married couples have very happy sex lives. Much like where you end up after you die (if you end up somewhere), whether or not you and your spouse will become a Borscht Belt comic's punchline is something you only find out after the fact. Some couples bone a lot. I mention this because I have been married for a year and like all newly-married people, I'm still in the part of my contract where I have to make it sound great. Which it is! But I would still say that if it wasn't.

Sources: fatawesome