We wish our girlfriend's dad let us in the house. But the tree we're tied to is nice.

According to this redditor, her boyfriend (who we guess worked for her dad's lawn care company) asked her dad for a letter of recommendation for a small scholarship. While we suspect that this was probably all in good fun, we know it is definitely all fun to read. This is basically every dad's fantasy, and way cooler than anything sitcom dads are allowed to be depicted doing onscreen. The only thing we question here is whether the dad's proficiency with gross details will make his family wonder what else is going on in his imagination. We mean, this feels like he wrote it really naturally, and that "poop in my mouth," wearing his daughter's clothes and inappropriately touching the dog all seemed to be examples that came very easily to him. Also, the only job we're aware of that doesn't involve children, adults, elderly persons, animals, money, computers, or inanimate objects is Philosopher, so be prepared for a really weird school of thought to emerge in a few years if Johnny really ends up like that.

Sources: Redditor reddicted9313