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A woman at a sushi restaurant had the pleasure of sitting nearby a gentleman just bursting with a condescending, men's rights, just-came-back-from-study-abroad attitude... and his date.

Oh, what a delightful world! Where we can all eavesdrop together via Twitter. Meet our characters: Pompous Idiot, Girl He's Humiliating, and Narrator.

You'll find out soon enough that this is not, in fact, their first date. Which makes this whole thing even crazier, because this guy is apparently capable of making a relationship last longer than one dinner.

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You'll see.

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This guy is both an expert and incapable of making decisions at the same time. Beautiful.

For reference: giant clams are 4 feet long and over 500 pounds.

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WHAT WAS HE PROMOTING?

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Confirmed.

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Welp.

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And what a journey it was.

The future libraries of the world will be full of live-tweeted dating misadventures. It's the world's fastest growing literary genre.

Sources: h/t Mashable