Women are just as thirsty—and can be just as creepy–as dudes. Female pick-up artists fall into the same traps of male ones, be it flawed execution of a normal plan or an all-out creepy scheme to get into someone's pants.

A recent thread asked guys on Reddit what's the creepiest and/or weirdest ways they've ever been hit on by girls, and it gets creepy and weird.

1. MrFuxIt is some fine, Italian meat.

Had a sloppy drunk cougar at some shithole dive in West Virginia groped my junk as I walked past, then said loudlymmm, mama likes her salami.

Gotta be honest, I wasn't even mad.

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2. Say Rruruurr out loud.

She wrote smut poetry about having a three way with my brother and me.

Then she read it to my entire high school during a school wide poetry recital in the auditorium.

3. TyroneBBFlat played Six Minutes in Heaven.

I was at an open mic and there was a fat Jamaican woman twice my age who sang a song with the chorus "There is a thin line between liking and loving, and a thick line between LICKING AND FUCKING". The song lasted 6 minutes and the whole time she was staring me dead in the eye.

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4. Couch_Licker learned that stalking ain't cute.

Sent me pictures of myself through my window from her parked car outside my apartment. The kicker was it was from an unknown number as she was using a third party messaging app.

She thought she was being cute, but it creeped the holy hell out of me.

5. Jamesv93's experience was ear-y.

When I was in high school I had a girl hit on me by saying how much she liked my ears. I was playing computer games waiting for my mum to turn up. I'm like "uh, oh, okay." Going right back to whatever flash game I was playing. She asked if she could take a picture of them. I just sort of let out a "uhhhh, okay?" And she did. I slyly messaged my mum, asking how far away she was. As soon as she got there I up and left, saying "bye" as I briskly walked away not waiting for a response.

I didn't realise she was hitting on me until like 4 months later and we started dating. She didn't know how to flirt, and I had no idea what it was like to be flirted with.


6. The one that got away for crastle did her research.

  • When talking about which apartments we lived in, she showed me a Google Street view of her apartment and directions how to get there.

  • She joined the gym she knew I worked out at, even though it was way out of the way for her.

  • She knew nothing about baseball until I told her I was a fan and then became a huge fan of my favorite team.

  • Totally shifted her political views when she found out we're on opposite sides.

  • Did a whole bunch of research on my home city and ended up knowing more history of that city than me.

Oh shit... I think I missed out on my dream girl. It's no wonder I'm still single.

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7. Saltnotsugar's gotta catch 'em all.

In Highschool i played in the marching band, and before practice everyone hung out in the music classroom. I'm just hanging out in my chair, and out of nowhere some girl sits in my lap, puts her hand on my cheek and whispers, "I choose you!" She said it like Ash said it to Pikachu so that threw me off. Also she had a cheeto in her hand like a cigar which threw me off. I didn't know what to say but I got a strong urge to eat cheetos so I got a bag from the vending machine. Man they were good. They were the spicy kind too!


8. SlimChiply couldn't read the diagrams.

High school, a friend of mine and I used to send notes back and forth as a common occurrence. One day a bit of anatomy showed up in one of the notes in the form of fingers opening a vagina. Asked her what it was about, and she played it off as practicing for art class.

I was not an intuitive lad.

9. PussyWhistle (quite the name) was issued a challenge.

"Maybe if you're lucky I'll let you try to find all my tattoos"

Key word: try. She was morbidly obese.

10. Actions speak louder than words, Outrageous_Claims.

I was in a crowded bar on Saint Paddy's day in downtown Minneapolis, and a woman tripped me. Like stuck her foot out. I tripped over it. I spilt my beer, and then she said "sorry, I just wanted to get your attention, I didn't know you would fall. Let me buy you another drink."

Could you imagine if I did that same thing to her? I'd be kicked out of the bar immediately and that's at a minimum.


11. Randored's relationship was built on a lie.

Hit on/Weirdest pick up line: I was living abroad at China. Was at the club. Really cute girl comes up to me,

"Hi, do you speak Chinese?"

My Chinese was terrible but of course I said, "Yes."

"Okay, cool. I'm Japanese. I think my friend just got drugged and dragged off by some guys. I can't find her anywhere. Can you describe my friend to the bouncer?"

Fast forward, me talking to the bouncers in super terrible Chinese describing the most stereotypical Asian girl ever for a solid 20 minutes.

Fast forward am like fuck it. Lets just go look for your friend. Can't friend her in the club. Suggest we look outside

Once, we get out she states, "2 things, 1st your Chinese is terrible. 2nd, That was all a lie. I just wanted to talk to you."

Probably should have been a red flag there, but dated her for a year and some. Was by far the oddest relationship in my life.