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Because people are so curious about the men and women in the camera-sex industry, a recent Reddit thread had all the platonic friends of porn stars share the "best, worst, and/or most awkward [stories]" about their most interesting pals. If you've never wondered to yourself, "Hm, I wonder what porn stars are like in real life," then there is a 66.7 percent chance you're lying (not a real stat). And also that you're one of those people who pretend they never watch porn. Here are the 14 best tales, as devoid of depressing facts as possible.

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1. DaveMcElfatrick's friend doesn't shove pictures of her kids in people's faces.

I have a very sweet friend who is a pornstar. She's like any other friend, only sometimes she might hand you a brochure full of pictures of her asshole. That's fine.

2. Sandalwoodgrips has discovered some unique advantages to having a porn star friend.

A notable pornstar is a frequent house guest of mine, and has recently volunteered using our backyard for pornshoots. She actually took me as her guest to the AVN's in Vegas a few months back. I live in the San Fernando Valley, so it's not all that uncommon out here, being the capital of the porn industry and all. Every so often, I come home from work to make lunch if time is permitting, and one time I came home to a porno shoot involving four women having an orgy in our jacuzzi in the backyard. I asked if it was okay if I stayed out back and watched, and promised I wouldn't disturb them. So there I sat, munching on my chicken and rice, while the four of them munched on each other.

TLDR: Platonic friends with Pornstar. Came home to four pornstars shooting a lesbian orgy scene in my backyard unexpectedly

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sandalwoodgrips won't be moving anytime soon.
sandalwoodgrips won't be moving anytime soon.

3. Reasonandmadness learned the hard way what it's like to be a porn star.

When I first joined the Army, I met a guy who was a bisexual porn star.

When it first came up in conversation, I really wasn't ready to receive this news and was caught off guard. He was doing an exercise that basically allowed him to "master his craft".

He was practicing keeping it hard...

Now, when I say, "master his craft"... he was basically walking around completely naked with a massive erection and he was flexing it and doing some focused meditation shit, I duno, it was just weird to see..

...and then he started talking with me like nothing was going on.

I asked him later why he thought that was a good time to talk with me about the day, he responded by saying that he needed a distraction.. these porn studios are filled with distractions and losing an erection while on set is unprofessional. I nodded and went about my business... confined quarters, not like I had much choice.

Edit: Didn't expect anyone to actually read this... So for clarification, private two man room, plenty of space between his side of the room and mine, "walking around" was more or less him on his side of the room and me on mine, lots of space between us but definitely limited privacy.

4. It took awhile for kmnisz1 to understand.

Was friends in high school with Carter Cruise. Very smart girl (dad had hopes for her to go to a top business school and become a stock broker), but she had this odd habit of always talking about dicks (picture Jonah Hill's character in Superbad). Made the teachers, other students very uncomfortable. All makes sense now.

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5. Shotsfirednottaken's old co-worker knew romance when she saw it.

I got this. I worked at a library of all places with an up and coming porn star who went on to make a name for herself later on. Her BF got arrested and got some jail time. I remember letting her borrow a Jim Morrison biography so she could send to him to have something to read.

One day, she says excitedly "look, my BF wrote me the sweetest letter!". She hands me this elaborately decorated letter (kinda like lowrider arte style if you're familiar with that, with roses and shit). On the top right corner was a very well done portrait of her. Only, she had his dick in hand and her mouth wide open. She showed this to me, without even the hint that it was kinda weird. Like, it wasn't funny or purposely over the top. It was, to her, romantic.

Bonus: She had a sister and once commented "she was always considered the pretty one, the family always said I was the one with nicer tits though".

Bonus #2: She said her dream to get married in some classic hot Chevy convertible at a drive thru ceremony in Vegas while her and groom gave each other oral in backseat. Dead serious.

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6. Chiguayante's friend has had some awkward moments with her dad.

Meh, I know and am friends with several people who have done porn (only two of which people would recognize by name). Most of them are as normal as the rest of us and you wouldn't know it from just looking at them or talking with them. The ones that really like LA tend to be people who are into all the weird fad diets and shit that comes out of LA, but as long as you can write it off as California, you're fine.

There was one time when I was in a small group, having drinks, and one of the people there was complaining because she is a cosplayer and her mother was upset over the risque photos of her in a costume. Complainer girl was a constant one-upper type. There were two porn stars there (they were out about it) and at one point after hearing this complaining going on for long enough, one of them says, "you know, I don't think that's nearly as bad as how my dad reacted when someone forwarded him a video of me with two dicks in my ass at once." That got the one-upper to STFU.

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And then her dad deleted the video, burned his computer, and his eyes.
And then her dad deleted the video, burned his computer, and his eyes.

7. Andrewrgross's friend should write a fantasy novel, or an erotic fantasy novel.

One of my dearest friends is a former porn star who got into the business in her early fifties when she grew dissatisfied with her unfulfilling marriage. She no longer performs in film, as she's transitioned to one-on-one fetish sessions with high-paying clients. I'd say my best story would be when I was meeting her for dinner and I had to fight traffic on the 405 for an hour to get there. I worried that I'd have made her wait for a long time at the restaurant, but was relieved to find she'd been stuck in the same traffic.

I asked her what she did in traffic to pass time, and she responded that she escaped into fantasies in her head about her fantasy alter-ego, which was a warrior woman from a tribe of amazon women who had a complex ritual in which young fighters would come of age by passing through time-travel portals and meeting or fighting themselves at some other age.

I was just so delighted by the rich inner world of her mind. None of this really has anything to do with her career. I have no awkward stories because she's probably the classiest person I know.

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8. Irrelevant_usernam3 is from a close family.

I have a cousin who does porn. She's really open about it and posts on facebook about her shoots. A couple times, I've seen naked pictures put up before they got flagged.

But the weirdest one was when she was in my area for work and came to visit. We were hanging out in the living room chatting and playing video games until she had to head out for her shoot. She had to change from her baggy sweatpants and T-shirt into a fancy red dress. But rather than head to another room like a normal person, she just stripped right there in the living room. And I mean completely naked. All without breaking conversation. It was so uncomfortable. Half of me was like "eww, that's your cousin, gross dude." While the other half was thinking "booooobs!" Admittedly, she is pretty attractive, so I snuck a couple peeks, but mostly turned away.

I still don't know if she did it to intentionally make things awkward or if she was just that comfortable being naked. Still a weird day either way.

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9. DolphinGun went to a party with a Debby Downer once.

I was at a party in high school, getting drunk with a group of about 20 people a 2:1 ratio of girls to guys. So when everyone was very drunk girls starts getting on a pool table, taking off clothes, making out and dancing on each other and the guys. Everyone was having a great time except for one girl who was sitting by herself and after about 15 minutes of this that girl stood up and said "girls girls cmon put your clothes on! You never know when there's a camera around have some respect!" It did end the fun for the most part but that girl today is now Ashley Adams an up and cuming pornstar.

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10. IcepickLettuce attended a less than traditional wedding.

Wow, for the first time ever I can actually answer one of these insanely specific questions! I was at the wedding of a friend who happens to be an AVN-nominated porn star. It was honestly a pretty wild and amazing ceremony, held on this pretty remote farm out in Northern California. The ceremony was beautiful, held between two redwoods. The speeches were very heartfelt, particularly because although the Bride's family was supportive, the Groom's family had disowned him for marrying her, so there was a lot of talk about how he was becoming adopted into a new family. They passed out free joints at the reception, as well as free white Russians. All in all a pretty awesome wedding. After the reception, as I was in the guest house of the farm trying to get cell service, she walked out of the bedroom naked. There was an awkward silence, then she giggled and went back in, where I heard her say "Anon just saw me naked!" followed by a chorus of laughter. I realized that the post-wedding group sex had begun (the couple was non-monogamous). As I was not one of their lovers, I went outside, gave up on getting cell service, and smoked more weed.

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Poor IcepickLettuce wasn't invited to the real party.
Poor IcepickLettuce wasn't invited to the real party.

11. Bluemidgetguy learned the varied uses of period blood.

I know Mindy Main or Dez as she's known around Olympia, WA. My roommate invited her over one night before I met her. I had no idea she was at my home when I went downstairs in my underwear to get a banana (perfect timing for a banana) we introduced ourselves and I casually mentioned I was a fan (this was a bit right after her disappearance from the industry.) She was excited I was a fan and she quickly went from 10 to meet me to 100. She pulled me in for a kiss and let me touch her vage a bit. Her and my roommate were on meth and I didn't know. She started roaming around my condo naked, playing my roommates upright bass, smeared her period blood on her face like war paint. I went up stairs to not cock block my roommate, buy i was a lil pervert and decided to listen to their convo. He was just trying to fuck and she kept on asking him to smell her butt (I'd do it.)

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12. This person saw some mother-daughter bonding.

Damn. I'm a little late to the party on this. A friend of mine was a male porn star. I used to give him rides to shoots and stuff. I got to mingle with a lot of very beautiful actresses, and sometimes hang out on set between shoots. Well, one day a few of the actresses and I were standing out by the parking lot smoking cigarettes, when this dude that looked like a slightly taller Danny Devito rolls up in a bright fucking pink Cadillac Deville. He looked like a total sleaze bag. Gold chains, half buttoned hound's tooth shirt, exploding chest hair, the whole 9 yards.

He walks up to us and grabs one of these girls by the arm and starts dragging her to his car. I'm just standing there in shock. All the while, she's promising that she'll never do it again and, and begging that he doesn't tell her mom. After the shock wears off, I yell inside that some greasy motherfucker was stealing one of the girls. Within seconds, about 6 male porn stars and a bouncer come running out. They pull the girl away and proceed to beat the ever-living shit out of this guy, in his car. He peels ass out of the parking lot and was never to be seen again.

Turns out, he was some kind of rival porn director/pimp. He caught word that she was shooting for someone else and tried to take her back. Apparently the girl's mother had no clue she did porn, and the dude was threatening to tell her. The girl cried for about an hour, then decided to come clean to her mom before this dude told her.

Well, as she's standing there talking to her mom, I notice an immediate night and day difference in her mood. Apparently her mom did porn in the 80's to help support the family after her dad died. Then told her not to worry about anything and how proud she was to have a daughter ballsy enough to tell her. Tears of shame quickly turned to tears of happiness. I saw her a few times after that, but I think she stopped doing porn.

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13. Kula_shakur's story might make you wonder if you're friends with a secret porn star.

My wife is Facebook friends with a very famous Dutch porn star. They were members of the same group and now are buddies, chatting all the time. She's apparently into very non-porn, normal stuff outside of her job. Nothing weird.

I didn't really follow the assignment but I figured it was tangentially relevant.

EDIT - for me, the weirdest part is the fact that my wife is so far removed from the porn world. She's not a prude, but porn is not her thing at all. She knows literally nothing about it and was friends with this lady for a few months before she even knew her alternate identity. I won't say who she is because they have become quite good pals and there's no reason to jeopardize that. It's neat though.

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14. Wherever Kahzgul's friend Bub goes, Bub's giant dick goes, too.

I have a friend I'll call "Bub." Bub is about 5'5" and has an 11" dick. It's ridiculous. Unfortunately for Bub, he's also got no game whatsoever. He only got into porn because he literally could not find anyone who would have sex with him. Now he's been in porn for a long time and doesn't know how to behave around girls who aren't porn stars.

He's both fun to take to bars and terrible to hang out with at the same time. You'll be chatting up a girl or something and he'll just come right over and say something like "I'd fuck that ass. Can I buy you a drink?" What?? Come on, dude, at least pretend you've talked to a girl before. But no, no - that's Bub for ya. No clue how to talk to real girls; has threesomes with super hot pornstars every week for money.

Edit for clarity, and because this is getting more traction than I expected: I haven't actually gone to a bar with Bub in about 6 years. We used to hang out regularly when I was single, but we don't hang out anymore now that I'm married and our mutual friend moved away. I hope he's doing well!

Edit: Thanks for the gold kind stranger! To show my appreciation, I'll regale you with another "Bub" story:

Our mutual friend was having a superbowl party and about fifteen people were there, including Bub and Ime. Bub went down to his car to get something and our friend the host yells out "Hey everyone, Bub's a porn star. How funny would it be if he came back and we were all acting like we were in a porno?!" Everyone was drunk so everyone was into it. No one got naked, but we all took a bunch of poses and pretended to be banging each other all over the apartment. The host "produced" a giant double-dong from somewhere and started waving it over his head (seriously, it just appeared out of thin air. I think he must have had it hidden behind a couch cushion or something) while two of the girls started making out and another guy pretended to hit one from behind. That sort of thing. We're going NUTS. Bub walks in and without missing a beat just says, "You're doing it wrong." He picks up his beer and goes back to watching the game.

Edit 2: People keep asking for more Bub stories. I'll be honest, I only really hung out with him in the context of our mutual friend, so I don't have tooo many, but I'll put the other good ones here, and - if needs be - I'll ask our buddy if he's got any more good ones. But since this is now my highest voted comment ever, I have to do you guys proud. So, by popular request, here's "Bub at the classy nightclub:"

Bub and I and two other friends were upstairs at a very popular bar and nightclub in LA. We were friends with the bartenders so we're all drinking for free. Girls are dancing everywhere: on tables, the bar, occasionally with one of us for no reason at all. Life was good. One girl walks up and starts grinding on Bub. This NEVER happens. Usually he's too quick with the gross and off-putting comments, but it was loud and we were drunk and she somehow managed to sneak in there real quick like a chipmunk and get up on him before he noticed. The other three of us are stunned. A girl is dancing with Bub?! And Bub is grinning like a teenager seeing his first boobie. He's not even dancing with her, but just smiling and pointing at what's happening to make sure we all noticed. It's hilarious. And then suddenly she stands bolt upright. She spins around.

"What the fuck dude," she says. "Just because I'm dancing doesn't give you the right to feel me up, asshole."

Let's be clear. Bub is standing up with both arms in the air. One is holding a beer and one was pointing down at this girl's ass grinding on his crotch, but is now palm up like "I didn't do anything."

We all notice this at the same time. I notice, our friends notice, and the girl notices. It's like slow motion. We look from his hands, down to his laughing face, down to his pants.

The anaconda has risen, and apparently it felt just like a hand sliding up this girl's thigh. The three of us think this is fucking hysterical.

The girl, however, has an even more shocked face than before. "Are you fucking kidding me," she says. We're dying. One of the guys literally snorts beer out of his nose. The girl gets down on her knees and straight up grabs his dick. My eyes are tearing up it's so funny. Bub, for once in his life, says nothing at all. This girl then yells, as loud as she can over the music, "Wanda, you've got to see this guy's dick!" (TBH the name wasn't Wanda, but I don't remember what name she yelled because I was laughing too damn hard). Her two friends come over and all three are down on the ground grabbing at Bub's jeans and giggling.

This is too much for Bub. "Alright girls, let's do it," he says, and unzips his pants and whips out the monster.

And that's the story of how we got kicked out of the nightclub. I did get the number of one of the girls though. Bub got nothing, because they were all terrified it might eat them or something.

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Bub and Lil Bub should learn some manners.
Bub and Lil Bub should learn some manners.