Good thing those ladies aren't the nutcrackers or something along those lines!
Last Christmas, redditor trackpete (who I'm gonna go ahead and call Pete) got really drunk and stole his friend Greg's nutcracker (which Greg himself had stolen the year before from his building). Pete says he "woke up the day after I stole him to a notepad FULL of insane ideas written down by my girlfriend. We worked over the course of the year to make some of them come true... It kinda turned into a "bring the Nutcracker to parties that I knew Greg wouldn't be at" thing, and everyone just went to down [sic]. There are a bunch of B-side pictures that are very very graphically inappropriate at times, it's amazing what drunk people will do with a Nutcracker and some Barbie dolls. ;)" Considering the photos that include Barbies are already as graphic as you'd expect, I can only imagine what the censored ones showed.
Pete and his friends spent the whole next year trotting the nutcracker out whenever they knew Greg wouldn't be around, taking photos, and hiding the evidence from Greg. Pete, who is a photographer, actually spent a good deal of time arranging the lighting for these photos. He says he was "very surprised at how difficult it was to light some of the shots because varnished wood does NOT act the same as human skin around light." Good to know, Pete.
Finally, at this year's Christmas party, "I brought a photobook we all signed with these images and covertly put the Nutcracker up on [Greg's] window sill. He didn't notice for HOURS. It was agonizing. Finally he noticed and we had him unwrap his present."
But Pete was shocked by Greg's reaction: "I expected it to be a hit because we all had so much fun, but I didn't expect the poor guy to almost break down crying in joy and happiness at the fact that we loved him so much to do this. It was amazing."
Don't worry about those photos of the nutcracker on fire; he survived and indeed appears to have been stolen by another friend. The tradition continues...
(by Shira Rachel Danan)