Yes, yes, revenge is a dish best served cold, and you only hurt yourself when you go down to their level, but whatever. Revenge is sweet and satisfying. Particularly when it is utterly toothless and doesn't really hurt the person who wronged you. But what counts is that as minor as it may be, you know that vengeance was had. Some people on Reddit shared some of the best revenge they ever enacted.
1. I_am_Jacks_colon is getting a divorce.
My missus leaves tea bags in the sink so I put them in her wallet.
2. The revenge of redman2532 works on two levels because that show is terrible.
My Ex cheated with a married man. He now lives with her. He is a POS.. but anyway, I still have login for her DVR. I logged in, erased all her shows, then recorded only the show "Cheaters." Petty, but it makes me laugh.
3. WhereTheFatRolls let a mouse loose. Not that kind of mouse, but it's still pretty bad.
I once had a colleague I hated (he was very condescending and really arrogant), so I put an extra Bluetooth receiver in his computer for a computer mouse and kept the mouse in my drawer. I would just open my drawer and it would fuck his shit right up. Kept it going for like 2 months. He was about to murder the world when I thought I better stop.
4. HAIR is a good one from cheapalternatives. (It involves shampoo, you see.)
One of my roommates always used to use our shampoo, and this went on for months. We could always tell because the shower would smell of different shampoo from time to time whenever he used the shower.
So one day instead of usual shampoo we mixed in rotten milk and the usual shampoo in a bottle and left it in the shower. Needless to say he wasn't very happy about it and we all (minus him) had a good laugh.
5. This one from caca_milis_ really pops. (It involves popcorn, you see.)
When I was a kid I got the Sabrina the Teenage Witch "Handbook" - it was full of kiddie experiemtns and stuff and was pretty fun.
My older sister had upset or annoyed me about something, so I tried out one of the 'tricks' from the book, you fill a cup with water and some corn kernels, put some tinfoil on top of the cup, the kernels eventually pop and it makes noise against the tinfoil.
I put it under her bed, it takes a few days to "work", so I completely forgot about it, until one night I woke up to my two sisters whispering - it had popped in the middle of the night and she thought there was a rat under her bed.
6. Gettin' wet with spartan-44.
Kid stole my water bottle. I opened it up and left it inside his backpack.
7. This is a cool stor from porcelain_queen.
On every email I send, I attach my name, company, position, etc. ALL the time people will respond "Thank you Sara"....but my name is spelled with the "H". I have started to reply to them leaving off a letter of their name. "No problem Rene" "Have a good day Jon". They probably think I am an idiot, but it is worth it to me.
8. AR3Leatherworks SMASH!
Someone in my office would always crush lunches with his gigantic ass lunch box. Either he ate bricks or lead, I don't know, but I always came to the office fridge and found that my lunch was in pieces.
So, after three bouts of this, and numerous notes from myself and other colleagues, I carefully removed his lunch box, emptied the contents (a gigantic sandwich, a Twinkie, chips, some vegetable pieces, and a few other bits), and ran over them with my car. I carefully packed it back in, and put it back.
He kept his lunch in a cooler by his cube from then on.
9. Don't piss off hardybe.
When I was a kid I had a bed wetting problem. I am not ashamed of this now, as thousands of other kids have had the same problems... at the time however, this was humiliating. My younger brother started telling other kids around school how extensive the issue was. I was mortified.
Even after our mother told him to knock it off, he continued. So I decided to level the playing field. The whole "hand in cup of warm water" deal didn't work. I stood over him as he slept one night and pissed on him. The next morning, my mom was horrified and wound up taking a call from my grandmother.
"I don't know what to do, now BOTH of them are pissing the bed," she explained, clearly frustrated.
After a few more times of "framing" my brother as a bed wetter he completely stopped using my embarrassing problem as entertainment.
10. 0124NN pulled off a classic prank known in some circles as "The Vermont Snowjob."
I was in a big meeting (50 managers/supervisors) and two high level guys made fun of my car (Subaru Outback) in their presentation. I had access to their personal info (phone #, address, emails) and sent it to the Subaru sales group, asking for a test drive/quotes/etc. They got spammed pretty well for a while.
11. Bully bullied whoshereforthemoney and smart kids, smart kids destroy bully forever.
So I was an AP kid, and had a bunch of AP friends, and also was in sports and theater. I had a large bunch of friends in nearly every cliche.
Anyway. One day, one of my friends gets sucker punched in the halls by some dickwad. Becuase of the school's zero tolerance policy, getting sucker punched carries the same punishment as sucker punching. So my friend and the dickwad both got in school suspension, but only one of them was punched on the face.
I thought that was a litte bit unfair.
So I got my friends together, and they got their friends together, and every week, one of us would sucker punch dickwad. Every week, one of us would have ISS, and so would dickwad, but since we are many, none of us went to ISS twice.
Dickwad on the other hand missed so much class, that he had to retake the grade.
12. A primer in alternative facts from failing_forwards.
I had a guy in school who would always skip class and then ask for my notes. We had a group project worth almost 40% of our grade and he did zero work, and the prof told me tough luck. Instead of just saying no the next time he asked for notes, I took the low road and began giving him edited versions.
I would leave items out of lists, incorrectly define things or just straight up write stuff that makes no sense.
An example of the crap I would put in: To calculate return on investment, subtract your yearly earnings from your current bank balance, then multiply by Echer's factorial (4.22).
If he had even once bothered to crack the text he would have figured it out, but that apparently would have been too much effort for him.
He retook that class.
13. Well, whereyouatdesmondo, really shoed her.
We were sitting by a pool once, and a woman stood over my wife and started spraying sunscreen all over herself - and my wife. We asked her nicely to please move and she ignored us and kept spraying. When we left, I took one of her flip flops with me.
14. Deny firedrafter and all the cinnamon bread in the land shall perish.
In 3rd grade I was falsely accused by the hall monitor of talking during quiet time. Even after my dad came in and talked to the teacher she still punished me by keeping me from watching a movie and eating the cinnamon bread with everyone else. So the day before the class watched the movie and ate snacks, I unplugged the breadmakers right before we left school so no one would get any. I figured if I can't have it, no one can.
15. This is how weshirc buttered up their boss.
I had a boss whom I couldn't stand. One day, she banned microwave popcorn in the office because she hated the smell. About a month later, I bought one of those USB drives that has scented oil inside...scented like buttered popcorn. I plugged it in on the side of her desktop. Took her 6 months to figure it out.
16. Tsquare43 is definitely not a commitment phobe.
In college (early 1990's), I lived with several guys in a suite. One liked to call me "chunky A", yes, I was chubby (I still am, but I have lost a lot of weight and I am continue to lose more). I asked him politely but firmly to not call me that. He laughed and did it more.
I proceeded to call up every info-merrical I saw on TV to send him baldness cures (he was losing his hair), Tourist information from places like Iowa and Nebraska, had information sent to him about adult bed wetting, etc.
He accused me of it, and I told him, why would I do such a thing to him? I kept it up for 2 years while he lived in the dorms. His junior year, he moved out to an off campus place. I found out where he lived and I waited a couple of months and started it all over again.
Yeah, I bombarded him with junk mail.
17. Link-to-the-Pastiche didn't even leave a paper trail.
We had a guy in our office take a crap in the bathroom every day after lunch and it would stink up the whole office. The manager asked everyone who needed to vacate their bowels to please use the lobby bathroom since our office was small and we only had the one bathroom. He didn't listen. Fortunately, he was like clockwork so 5 minutes before he went in I took all the toilet paper.... that's right. I forced the man to live with a dirty ass.