Tinder is known as the bottom of the barrel in the dating app world. While other apps present users with a more culled list, like Coffee Meets Bagel, where you only get a certain number of matches per day, or Hinge, where you're limited to friends of friends through Facebook, Tinder is just a cesspool of people looking to get some. So, why bother trying? One woman found out that she could even pique guys' interest by cribbing lines from The Bachelor and using them as her pickup lines. And it went pretty well.
"I tried using the girls’ best out-of-the-limo pick up lines (or the most suitable version of them) on Tinder," says Bachelor enthusiast and TheTab writer Maggie Fischer of her exploits. Some of the lines really don't even make much sense taken out of context of the show, but the guys don't seem to care. While some of them are confused, they're still pretty into it. It leaves me wondering if any of these guys have ever successfully identified a red flag. Let's take a look at how it went.
Maggie: “I just wanted to let you know that before this I finished setting up my fantasy teams, but the only plays I want to make this season are for your heart”
Tinder response: “I applaud”
Way to go, Maggie! Let's take a look at another:
Maggie: “Before coming, all my girlfriends were like ‘No, he’s a complete piece of shit.’ But I don’t believe them, or anyone else who thinks that, otherwise I wouldn’t be here”
Tinder response: “Do your girlfriends know me? Lol.. Lets prove them wrong ;)”
He was confused and insulted, but he is ready to give this thing a try! This next guy is willing to look past hints of spy work to get deep into a text chat about what indie music she's been listening to.
Maggie: “So I’ve heard your past relationships have been lemons, but let’s see if we can make lemonade”
Tinder response: “Hahaha. You have a spy network in place for espionage, do you? ? I’ve been fortunate to have been involved with a host of wonderful women in healthy, nourishing, growth-positive relationships. I just vastly prefer “best” to “good”! So journalism, photography, and editing? I was a journo for quite a while both here and overseas. What got you into to? What indie you been listening to lately? What else shines about you??”
I mean, wow. No one has ever asked me what "shines" about me. These guys are loving Maggie's canned lines. This next one is great because it starts out immediately with a strange demand.
Maggie: “For me, trust is very important, so we’re going to do a trust fall.”
Tinder response: “You can fall on me as much as you want.”
What the frick does that even mean? Here is another one where the guy ignores several strange happenings (using French, calling herself "Vanessa"), because he is dying to talk about her taste in music. I do not understand what men hope to learn by talking with women about their music taste.
Maggie (translated from French): “My name is Vanessa. And, I’m very happy to be here with you. [In English]: You’ll have to come find me later inside to get the translation”
Tinder response: “Hi Maggie, I know a little bit of French haha…Who’s your favorite musician?”
Maggie can do no wrong, it seems. The next one is very cheesy, and he loves it, so prepare yourself accordingly:
Maggie: “I was wondering if I could listen to your heart. Typically, I ask my patients to take their shirts off”
Tinder response: “That can work out. I don’t really like wearing a shirt anyways…Do you moonlight as a doctor or a heart whisperer?”
Tinder has been around long enough that the idea of using the insanity you experience on it as fodder for stories is a pretty tired trope by now. And yet these guys still engage with Maggie's insanity. It's mind-boggling! Only one guy seemed to be suspicious of her "journalistic" endeavors. I hope she goes on a date with him because he seems to be the smartest of them all:
Maggie: “I’ve watched your journey. You’ve been through a lot, and I really give it to you. You have some balls. And, so do I”
Tinder response: “What is that…am i gonna be on ur tumblr now or something”