Ever been interested in being in an open relationship? It’s an intriguing topic for some, and some Redditors recently revealed some aspects of their lives and marriages that make polyamory seem just as complicated as you’d think it is. Overall, the themes I got from reading these stories are: communication is key, and jealousy isn’t a trait that everybody has.

Alright folks, let’s open up!

1. “Then he came home and told me…”

After a lot of arguing between my husband and I about the lack of sex in our relationship (I have a very low libido because of medications I have to be on), we finally came to an agreement that he could find a friend with benefits. We agreed to some ground rules beforehand, like he couldn’t spend more time with her than with me, he had to be safe, I wanted to know before he he did anything (not immediately before, but I needed a heads up that he was interested in someone), and if he started developing feelings, he was to immediately drop it.

He started looking, and everything was fine. He’d show me some steamy texts he’d been exchanging every now and then, and it was fine; I really wasn’t jealous and I was glad he was having fun and was at least somewhat being satisfied when I couldn’t help him.

Then he came home and told me he was leaving me for someone else. He hadn’t even had sex with her yet, but had met her while looking for a FWB. And now he’s gone.

I’m not at all saying that open marriages are bad. I think, if he had been happy with the rest of our marriage like I was (and maybe had been more mature, who knows), it could have worked. I really do believe 100% that I would have been okay with it; I am not at all a jealous person and I’ve had FWBs before. But I do believe that if we hadn’t opened the door, so to speak, he wouldn’t have left. Or at least not nearly as soon, and not for someone else. But who knows.