Marriage

<p>Man, love can be cruel. And so can sisters. Combine the two and you have a particularly savage kind of betrayal.</p><h2>A woman recently <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cbyodn/wibta_if_i_dont_attend_my_sisters_weddings/" target="_blank">shared her story</a> on Reddit, asking for commenters to weigh in on whether or not she can ditch her sister&#39;s wedding since the groom is her ex-boyfriend.</h2><p>And not just any ex-boyfriend either, but the love of her life, who her own mom forced her to break up with. Buckle up, readers. This is a heartbreaker.</p><p>She begins:</p><blockquote> <p>This needs a bit of a backstory so bear with me a little. Three years ago, I was in grad school and I was working as a tutor for undergrad students, that&#39;s how I met Joe, who was 5 years younger than me.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>We had a whirlwind romance until I told my mother, expecting her to be happy for me because it was my first relationship where I felt more than just fondness towards my partner. However, my parents are a little on the conservative side and as soon as my mom learned about the age difference and his various tattoos, she was livid.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>Five years is not <em>that</em> much of an age difference, and it sounds like they were both consenting adults. So for this mom to freak out over this pretty uncool. Nevertheless, moms have a way of getting what they want.</p><p>The woman continues:</p><blockquote> <p>My parents gave me an ultimatum: either leave Joe or they would kick me out and stop paying for my education. I nearly chose the latter until Joe told me that my education was more important.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>He said we could always get together after I&#39;d had my degree and despite hating it, I agreed with him. We broke up but kept in touch over the next year. He graduated and moved to a city a few hours away where my sister Allie was at school. I got my degree and moved to a city nearby, earning my first taste of freedom.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>This is where the story takes a turn from &quot;that&#39;s a bummer&quot; to &quot;et tu Brute?&quot; Because after the couple split, apparently distance made his heart grow fonder....for his ex&#39;s <em>sister</em>, Allie.</p><p>She writes:</p><blockquote> <p>Almost two years after our breakup, my sister Allie told me she&#39;d been seeing someone for seven months and sent me a picture of her with him. It was Joe. I could not believe my eyes. I texted him, asking if it were true and got no reply. I called my mother, who told me that it wasn&#39;t a big deal and that they&#39;re letting Allie have her &quot;rebellious phase,&quot; which is something I was never allowed to have but I digress.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>I threw myself into work, managing to avoid my family during every holiday and thinking maybe this would help me forget. I found out they got engaged through our mother and later received a wedding invitation, I RSVP&#39;d yes.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>Two years after their breakup, she learned that Allie had been seeing her ex-boyfriend for seven months.</h2><p>Brutal. To make things worse, they are now engaged, which they didn&#39;t even tell her directly&mdash;she learned it from her mom. Eventually, she received an invitation to their wedding, which is now a month away.</p><h2><span style="font-size: 1.1rem; letter-spacing: -0.01em;">She RSVP&#39;d &quot;yes&quot; but has since had a change-of-heart, realizing that she&#39;s not over him and it would be too painful to go.</span></h2><p><span style="font-size: 1.1rem; letter-spacing: -0.01em;">She writes:</span></p><blockquote> <p><span style="font-size: 1.1rem; letter-spacing: -0.01em;">Now, the wedding is less than a month away and I am clearly not over him. I tear up at the thought of watching him say &quot;I do&quot; to my younger sister. I don&#39;t think I can attend their wedding and I&#39;m thinking about using work as an excuse again.</span></p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p><span style="font-size: 1.1rem; letter-spacing: -0.01em;">My best friend says I&#39;m being an asshole and I have to grin and bear it while other friends are saying that I should prioritize my health. I&#39;m not sure what the right answer is and I thought I ought to ask an unbiased audience.</span></p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>She offered this update on her sister Allie, who continues to sound like a more terrible person as this story progresses.</p><blockquote> <p><strong>UPDATE:</strong> I called Allie earlier and to say I&#39;m an idiot is an understatement. She knew who Joe was before they&#39;d even been formally introduced. Our mom told her about him when we were still dating. She said that she never brought it up because it never seemed important to her and that since he &quot;chose&quot; her, there was nothing to talk about.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>She still expects me to attend her wedding because we&#39;re family. I know this is terrible but I didn&#39;t tell her I&#39;m not over him. I suspect she would just laugh.</p> </blockquote><h2>Allie definitely knew Joe was her sister&#39;s ex before she started dating him.</h2><p>This sister sounds awful for how she handled this situation. And Joe sounds awful for jumping into a relationship with his ex&#39;s sister, especially since neither of them communicated with her about it or apologized.</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>My own advice would be to skip the wedding in the interest of self-care and distancing herself from these toxic people. It seems most commenters agree and have agreed that this woman would &quot;not be the a**hole&quot; if she decides to skip her sister&#39;s wedding.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/mockingbird82/">mockingbird82</a> writes:</p><blockquote> <p>NTA. I read your update. Your mom caused you to break up by threatening you and then gave your younger sister blessings. Now they all expect you to get over it and put on a happy face. No. They wronged you. Joe also wronged you. Most people would not get involved in this type of a relationship, but 3 people pushed ahead. I mean shit, this is bound to go bad later.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>Joe and Allie have a fight and he comes to you for a sympathetic ear? I mean was anyone thinking when they decided to marry? You are well within your rights not to attend. Besides, what if you cause a scene otherwise? I am angry on your behalf.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>And <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/lnfno/">lnfno</a> writes:</p><blockquote> <p>NTA - After your edit all I can say is that your sister is a POS, honestly. She knew who he was and started seeing him without as much as TELLING YOU, and now tries to pass it off as she didn&rsquo;t think it mattered.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>In the beginning it was a dick move to date someone you used to date, but once they got serious and ENGAGED without as much as a phonecall or any recognition of your past relationship with him she passed into huge, gaping asshole territory.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>This makes me wonder - has something similar happened before? Where you wanted something and she got it instead? The fact that you can&rsquo;t tell her about your feelings without her laughing at you is concerning to say the least. This is a display of power, and I&rsquo;m willing to bet money that she is very satisfied with herself for being the &rdquo;chosen one&rdquo; and sees herself as the rightful winner.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>I&rsquo;m also curious; how did the two meet? Because there&rsquo;s a chance she sought him out after hearing you weren&rsquo;t &rdquo;allowed&rdquo; to have him. I really feel for you in this situation and remember that you don&rsquo;t owe anyone your time or attention just because they&rsquo;re family. I would really minimize the time spent with this bunch of assholes.</p> </blockquote><p>I hope she skips the wedding and instead treats herself to a LONG spa day, and maybe a new family. She deserves it.</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

Woman asks if she's wrong to skip wedding of sister marrying her ex.

Man, love can be cruel. And so can sisters. Combine the two and you have a particularly savage kind of betrayal.A woman recently shared her story on Reddit, asking for commenters to weigh in on whether or not she can ditch her sister&#39;s wedding since the groom is her ex-boyfriend.And not just any ex-boyfriend either, but the love of her life, who her own mom forced her to break up with. Buckle up, readers. This is a heartbreaker.She begins: This needs a bit of a backstory so bear with me a little. Three years ago, I was in grad school and I was working as a tutor for undergrad students, that&#39;s how I met Joe, who was 5 years younger than me.  We had a whirlwind romance until I told my mother, expecting her to be happy for me because it was my first relationship where I felt more than just fondness towards my partner. However, my parents are a little on the conservative side and as soon as my mom learned about the age difference and his various tattoos, she was livid. Five years is not that much of an age difference, and it sounds like they were both consenting adults. So for this mom to freak out over this pretty uncool. Nevertheless, moms have a way of getting what they want.The woman continues: My parents gave me an ultimatum: either leave Joe or they would kick me out and stop paying for my education. I nearly chose the latter until Joe told me that my education was more important.  He said we could always get together after I&#39;d had my degree and despite hating it, I agreed with him. We broke up but kept in touch over the next year. He graduated and moved to a city a few hours away where my sister Allie was at school. I got my degree and moved to a city nearby, earning my first taste of freedom. This is where the story takes a turn from &quot;that&#39;s a bummer&quot; to &quot;et tu Brute?&quot; Because after the couple split, apparently distance made his heart grow fonder....for his ex&#39;s sister, Allie.She writes: Almost two years after our breakup, my sister Allie told me she&#39;d been seeing someone for seven months and sent me a picture of her with him. It was Joe. I could not believe my eyes. I texted him, asking if it were true and got no reply. I called my mother, who told me that it wasn&#39;t a big deal and that they&#39;re letting Allie have her &quot;rebellious phase,&quot; which is something I was never allowed to have but I digress.  I threw myself into work, managing to avoid my family during every holiday and thinking maybe this would help me forget. I found out they got engaged through our mother and later received a wedding invitation, I RSVP&#39;d yes. Two years after their breakup, she learned that Allie had been seeing her ex-boyfriend for seven months.Brutal. To make things worse, they are now engaged, which they didn&#39;t even tell her directly&mdash;she learned it from her mom. Eventually, she received an invitation to their wedding, which is now a month away.She RSVP&#39;d &quot;yes&quot; but has since had a change-of-heart, realizing that she&#39;s not over him and it would be too painful to go.She writes: Now, the wedding is less than a month away and I am clearly not over him. I tear up at the thought of watching him say &quot;I do&quot; to my younger sister. I don&#39;t think I can attend their wedding and I&#39;m thinking about using work as an excuse again.  My best friend says I&#39;m being an asshole and I have to grin and bear it while other friends are saying that I should prioritize my health. I&#39;m not sure what the right answer is and I thought I ought to ask an unbiased audience. She offered this update on her sister Allie, who continues to sound like a more terrible person as this story progresses. UPDATE: I called Allie earlier and to say I&#39;m an idiot is an understatement. She knew who Joe was before they&#39;d even been formally introduced. Our mom told her about him when we were still dating. She said that she never brought it up because it never seemed important to her and that since he &quot;chose&quot; her, there was nothing to talk about.  She still expects me to attend her wedding because we&#39;re family. I know this is terrible but I didn&#39;t tell her I&#39;m not over him. I suspect she would just laugh. Allie definitely knew Joe was her sister&#39;s ex before she started dating him.This sister sounds awful for how she handled this situation. And Joe sounds awful for jumping into a relationship with his ex&#39;s sister, especially since neither of them communicated with her about it or apologized.My own advice would be to skip the wedding in the interest of self-care and distancing herself from these toxic people. It seems most commenters agree and have agreed that this woman would &quot;not be the a**hole&quot; if she decides to skip her sister&#39;s wedding.mockingbird82 writes: NTA. I read your update. Your mom caused you to break up by threatening you and then gave your younger sister blessings. Now they all expect you to get over it and put on a happy face. No. They wronged you. Joe also wronged you. Most people would not get involved in this type of a relationship, but 3 people pushed ahead. I mean shit, this is bound to go bad later.  Joe and Allie have a fight and he comes to you for a sympathetic ear? I mean was anyone thinking when they decided to marry? You are well within your rights not to attend. Besides, what if you cause a scene otherwise? I am angry on your behalf. And lnfno writes: NTA - After your edit all I can say is that your sister is a POS, honestly. She knew who he was and started seeing him without as much as TELLING YOU, and now tries to pass it off as she didn&rsquo;t think it mattered.  In the beginning it was a dick move to date someone you used to date, but once they got serious and ENGAGED without as much as a phonecall or any recognition of your past relationship with him she passed into huge, gaping asshole territory.  This makes me wonder - has something similar happened before? Where you wanted something and she got it instead? The fact that you can&rsquo;t tell her about your feelings without her laughing at you is concerning to say the least. This is a display of power, and I&rsquo;m willing to bet money that she is very satisfied with herself for being the &rdquo;chosen one&rdquo; and sees herself as the rightful winner.  I&rsquo;m also curious; how did the two meet? Because there&rsquo;s a chance she sought him out after hearing you weren&rsquo;t &rdquo;allowed&rdquo; to have him. I really feel for you in this situation and remember that you don&rsquo;t owe anyone your time or attention just because they&rsquo;re family. I would really minimize the time spent with this bunch of assholes. I hope she skips the wedding and instead treats herself to a LONG spa day, and maybe a new family. She deserves it.

Man, love can be cruel. And so can sisters. Combine the two and you have a particularly savage kind of betrayal.  A woman recently shared her story on Reddit, asking for commenters to weigh in on whether or not she can ditch her...