Ah, marriage. The union of two souls that have come together and agreed to see it through, 'til death - or divorce - do they part. The heteronormative romantic in me is drawn to this classic tale of courtship: Boy meets girl. Boy and girl fall blissfully in love and declare their commitment to one another. Boy and girl order takeout and watch Netflix until forever. FIN.
There's just one catch: life doesn't work like that. It doesn't make narrative sense, and romantic love doesn't magically solve your problems. Plus, have you TRIED to date another human? They're neurotic, insecure, and needy - not the stoic yet tender prince I was promised. *extremely Tracy Jordan voice* Ella Enchanted lied to me!!!