Relationships

When you&#39;re in a relationship, special events like birthdays and anniversaries are usually the time in which you show your partner how much you care. At least that&#39;s what Reddit user <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Good_Cheesecake_251/">u/Good_Cheesecake_251</a> thought. When her boyfriend of 3 years botched her birthday and then wanted to hide the fact that they were splitting the bill on their anniversary dinner a few days later, she got upset. Now he&#39;s accusing her of embarrassing him and she&#39;s turned to the internet to ask:<h2><span style="font-family: BlinkMacSystemFont, -apple-system, &quot;Segoe UI&quot;, Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, &quot;Fira Sans&quot;, &quot;Droid Sans&quot;, &quot;Helvetica Neue&quot;, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: -0.02em;"><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/sp8ncb/aita_for_embarrassing_my_boyfriend_when_we_split/">AITA</a> (Am I The As*hole) for embarrassing my boyfriend when we split the bill at a fancy restaurant?</h2>She writes:<blockquote> I&#39;m 25, my boyfriend is 35, and we have been together for almost exactly three years. In a funny coincidence, both of our birthdays and our anniversary (the day we met) all happen in the same week. </blockquote><blockquote> This year, we decided he would organize a &#39;surprise&#39; for my birthday, I would organize a &#39;surprise&#39; for his birthday, and then for our anniversary we would go out together for a nice dinner to celebrate. </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> We discussed the budget in advance, and we agreed that we would split the cost of the dinner. It was a set tasting menu so we knew the exact price ahead of time. </blockquote><blockquote> My birthday did not go well. My boyfriend lied to me about taking the day off work and kept disappearing to the bathroom to answer emails and make calls, when we were at a museum together. (I didn&#39;t ask or expect him to take the day off - I&#39;d have been fine doing something in the evening.) </blockquote><blockquote> Then for my present, he gave me a pastry made of a specific ingredient that I&#39;m allergic to, so I couldn&#39;t eat it. Then he left at 8 pm because he wanted to watch a football game, so I ended up spending my birthday night alone. </blockquote><blockquote> The next day, I told him I felt like he&#39;d given zero thought to my birthday and made me feel like I was a burden on him. He just said he&#39;d done his best and I need to learn to be grateful when other people &#39;try.&#39; </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> His birthday went off without any issue. I had specialty food and wine shipped in from his home country, got his favorite childhood recipes from his grandmother, and spent several days preparing a dinner built around his preferences and dietary requirements. He loved it. </blockquote><blockquote> Then came our anniversary. We agreed in advance to split the bill, but by then I was hoping that he&#39;d offer to cover it - not because of the money, but as a gesture of apology for how my birthday went. </blockquote><blockquote> At the end of dinner, I asked if he still wanted to split. He replied, &quot;Yeah but it would look weird if we asked for separate checks since this is a nice place. So I&#39;ll pay here and you can transfer me the money afterward.&quot; </blockquote><blockquote> I honestly saw red. When the waitress came over with the bill, I said, &quot;We&#39;ll actually be splitting.&quot; She asked how we wanted to split, and I said I&rsquo;d pay for the wine and my food. </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> So in total, I paid for about 70% of the bill. My boyfriend just shrugged and paid for the remaining amount. </blockquote><blockquote> As soon as we left, he said I humiliated him and acted like a spoiled brat and he &quot;couldn&#39;t change the past&quot;, and I need to learn to move on when I&#39;m annoyed. </blockquote><blockquote> I said my issue wasn&#39;t about changing the past, but 1) he hadn&#39;t even properly apologized for my birthday or tried to make up for it in any way, and 2) he cared more about the restaurant staff thinking that he was a big spender treating me to a fancy dinner when I&#39;d actually be paying for half of the meal. </blockquote><blockquote> He said I&#39;m the asshole because we had agreed to split the bill, so I had no right to be annoyed about it. </blockquote><blockquote> AITA? </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div>Why do women put up with this? This boyfriend needs to get kicked to the curb like yesterday&#39;s garbage. He&#39;s clearly shown her how he feels about her by his behavior on her birthday. If he thought splitting the check was the right thing to do, he wouldn&#39;t have cared what the people in the restaurant thought about it.The issue is not the dinner bill, it&#39;s about treating the person you claim to love with some basic decency. The people of Reddit overwhelmingly agreed, and declared this woman, &quot;Not The As*hole.&quot; <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/RoyallyOakie/">RoyallyOakie</a>:<blockquote> NTA...Just tell him that you did your best and he needs to be grateful when people try. He&#39;s clearly putting in no effort and that&#39;s what should humiliate him. </blockquote><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Rattivarius/">Rattivarius</a><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> I&#39;m genuinely low-maintenance and his birthday behavior would have enraged me because that isn&#39;t a maintenance issue, that&#39;s a basic human decency issue. </blockquote><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/RoyallyOakie/">RoyallyOakie</a>:<blockquote> Should have dumped him IN the restaurant really....and left him with the bill. Maybe I&#39;m not as nice as she is. </blockquote><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/GottaLoveHim/">GottaLoveHim</a>:<blockquote> Agree. Go to the bathroom, call an Uber, slip out the door. Use that money to buy a real birthday treat with no allergens. </blockquote><blockquote> If you stay with a guy like this, Christmas will be him going to Walmart on Christmas Eve and just grabbing what is on the clearance rack. &quot;Oh, I got you something? What?! I&#39;m supposed to get the right size and color? You are just too demanding.&quot; </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Mryessicahaircut/">Mryessicahaircut</a>:<blockquote> Yeah, he has shown OP that he cares more about what the wait staff in a restaurant think of him than his partner&#39;s feelings. </blockquote><blockquote> He showed exactly how much he values OP&#39;s time, and tbh, the whole sneaking off to the bathroom and getting defensive is kinda sketch. </blockquote><blockquote> Buying you something where the main ingredient is something you&#39;re allergic to is.... like how long have you been together? Did he forget or was he deliberately trying to poison you? </blockquote><blockquote> Either way it&#39;s time to realize you deserve someone who puts in AT LEAST as much effort as you do. NTA </blockquote><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/elag19/">elag19</a>:<blockquote> For 3 years too! OP if you read this- do NOT waste a fourth birthday and another entire year of your life on this person, he will not ever improve or add value to your life. Take it from someone who has been in your shoes. </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/hello_friendss/">hello_friendss</a>:<blockquote> NTA but what are you doing with this guy? He showed you how much he values you. I could maybe excuse the work email but to ignore you and watch football after dinner is inexcusable. </blockquote><blockquote> His effort and bar is very low. You are 25 and have the whole world ahead of you. In the next 5 years, he will be 40 and still set in his ways while you will be 30 - I highlight this because those two age group have different mindsets. </blockquote><blockquote> I&#39;ve seen this with my loved ones and it doesn&rsquo;t end well. </blockquote><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Designer-Mark-8931/">Designer-Mark-8931</a>:<blockquote> NTA. Dump him. </blockquote><blockquote> Honestly, so many things I could point out wrong with this guy, but just based on how he made you feel on your birthday, you should already know why your need to leave him. </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div> <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/thatbikerchick51/">thatbikerchick51</a>:<blockquote> NTA, you got a gigantic 35-year-old baby. You deserve so much better. </blockquote><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/PoojaWITB/">PoojaWITB</a>:<blockquote> NTA. So he puts minimal effort, gets mad at you for not accepting mediocrity then proceeds to get upset because you didn&#39;t make him look like a winner in front of the staff? </blockquote><blockquote> Is this the type of relationship you want to be in? </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

Woman asks if she's wrong for 'embarrassing' BF by splitting the bill at a fancy dinner.

When you&#39;re in a relationship, special events like birthdays and anniversaries are usually the time in which you show your partner how much you care. At least that&#39;s what Reddit user u/Good_Cheesecake_251 thought. When her boyfriend of 3 years botched her birthday and then wanted to hide the fact that they were splitting the bill on their anniversary dinner a few days later, she got upset. Now he&#39;s accusing her of embarrassing him and she&#39;s turned to the internet to ask:AITA (Am I The As*hole) for embarrassing my boyfriend when we split the bill at a fancy restaurant?She writes: I&#39;m 25, my boyfriend is 35, and we have been together for almost exactly three years. In a funny coincidence, both of our birthdays and our anniversary (the day we met) all happen in the same week.  This year, we decided he would organize a &#39;surprise&#39; for my birthday, I would organize a &#39;surprise&#39; for his birthday, and then for our anniversary we would go out together for a nice dinner to celebrate.  We discussed the budget in advance, and we agreed that we would split the cost of the dinner. It was a set tasting menu so we knew the exact price ahead of time.  My birthday did not go well. My boyfriend lied to me about taking the day off work and kept disappearing to the bathroom to answer emails and make calls, when we were at a museum together. (I didn&#39;t ask or expect him to take the day off - I&#39;d have been fine doing something in the evening.)  Then for my present, he gave me a pastry made of a specific ingredient that I&#39;m allergic to, so I couldn&#39;t eat it. Then he left at 8 pm because he wanted to watch a football game, so I ended up spending my birthday night alone.  The next day, I told him I felt like he&#39;d given zero thought to my birthday and made me feel like I was a burden on him. He just said he&#39;d done his best and I need to learn to be grateful when other people &#39;try.&#39;  His birthday went off without any issue. I had specialty food and wine shipped in from his home country, got his favorite childhood recipes from his grandmother, and spent several days preparing a dinner built around his preferences and dietary requirements. He loved it.  Then came our anniversary. We agreed in advance to split the bill, but by then I was hoping that he&#39;d offer to cover it - not because of the money, but as a gesture of apology for how my birthday went.  At the end of dinner, I asked if he still wanted to split. He replied, &quot;Yeah but it would look weird if we asked for separate checks since this is a nice place. So I&#39;ll pay here and you can transfer me the money afterward.&quot;  I honestly saw red. When the waitress came over with the bill, I said, &quot;We&#39;ll actually be splitting.&quot; She asked how we wanted to split, and I said I&rsquo;d pay for the wine and my food.  So in total, I paid for about 70% of the bill. My boyfriend just shrugged and paid for the remaining amount.  As soon as we left, he said I humiliated him and acted like a spoiled brat and he &quot;couldn&#39;t change the past&quot;, and I need to learn to move on when I&#39;m annoyed.  I said my issue wasn&#39;t about changing the past, but 1) he hadn&#39;t even properly apologized for my birthday or tried to make up for it in any way, and 2) he cared more about the restaurant staff thinking that he was a big spender treating me to a fancy dinner when I&#39;d actually be paying for half of the meal.  He said I&#39;m the asshole because we had agreed to split the bill, so I had no right to be annoyed about it.  AITA? Why do women put up with this? This boyfriend needs to get kicked to the curb like yesterday&#39;s garbage. He&#39;s clearly shown her how he feels about her by his behavior on her birthday. If he thought splitting the check was the right thing to do, he wouldn&#39;t have cared what the people in the restaurant thought about it.The issue is not the dinner bill, it&#39;s about treating the person you claim to love with some basic decency. The people of Reddit overwhelmingly agreed, and declared this woman, &quot;Not The As*hole.&quot; RoyallyOakie: NTA...Just tell him that you did your best and he needs to be grateful when people try. He&#39;s clearly putting in no effort and that&#39;s what should humiliate him. Rattivarius I&#39;m genuinely low-maintenance and his birthday behavior would have enraged me because that isn&#39;t a maintenance issue, that&#39;s a basic human decency issue. RoyallyOakie: Should have dumped him IN the restaurant really....and left him with the bill. Maybe I&#39;m not as nice as she is. GottaLoveHim: Agree. Go to the bathroom, call an Uber, slip out the door. Use that money to buy a real birthday treat with no allergens.  If you stay with a guy like this, Christmas will be him going to Walmart on Christmas Eve and just grabbing what is on the clearance rack. &quot;Oh, I got you something? What?! I&#39;m supposed to get the right size and color? You are just too demanding.&quot; Mryessicahaircut: Yeah, he has shown OP that he cares more about what the wait staff in a restaurant think of him than his partner&#39;s feelings.  He showed exactly how much he values OP&#39;s time, and tbh, the whole sneaking off to the bathroom and getting defensive is kinda sketch.  Buying you something where the main ingredient is something you&#39;re allergic to is.... like how long have you been together? Did he forget or was he deliberately trying to poison you?  Either way it&#39;s time to realize you deserve someone who puts in AT LEAST as much effort as you do. NTA elag19: For 3 years too! OP if you read this- do NOT waste a fourth birthday and another entire year of your life on this person, he will not ever improve or add value to your life. Take it from someone who has been in your shoes. hello_friendss: NTA but what are you doing with this guy? He showed you how much he values you. I could maybe excuse the work email but to ignore you and watch football after dinner is inexcusable.  His effort and bar is very low. You are 25 and have the whole world ahead of you. In the next 5 years, he will be 40 and still set in his ways while you will be 30 - I highlight this because those two age group have different mindsets.  I&#39;ve seen this with my loved ones and it doesn&rsquo;t end well. Designer-Mark-8931: NTA. Dump him.  Honestly, so many things I could point out wrong with this guy, but just based on how he made you feel on your birthday, you should already know why your need to leave him.  thatbikerchick51: NTA, you got a gigantic 35-year-old baby. You deserve so much better. PoojaWITB: NTA. So he puts minimal effort, gets mad at you for not accepting mediocrity then proceeds to get upset because you didn&#39;t make him look like a winner in front of the staff?  Is this the type of relationship you want to be in? 

When you&#39;re in a relationship, special events like birthdays and anniversaries are usually the time in which you show your partner how much you care. At least that&#39;s what Reddit user u/Good_Cheesecake_251 thought. When her...