Sex can be a major topic in a relationship. These 15 AskReddit users share the reasons why they currently don’t have sex in their marriage. Some are sad. Some are shocking. Some make complete sense.

1. I’m done

I gave up.

We’ve been together since the mid 80s, so there’s that. I still find her very attractive, but she has 0 interest. Until last fall we were still doing it, but over the past four or five years it had gotten to the point where I could tell she was only doing it for me, and I began to feel as though I was essentially raping her. I never forced myself on her, but her lack of enthusiasm (to the point of curling up when facing me so I could not see or touch her breasts or vagina) made me feel like a total creep. I was frank with her.

She claims she wants to continue, but I just don’t believe it. If I made her dinner every night and she hardly touched it, over time I would get the impression she didn’t like my cooking. Why make the effort if it’s not wanted? That’s how I feel. So I’m done.