<p>First off, I think <a href="https://amzn.to/2vpLatm">dicks are pretty gross</a>. And I&#39;m not entirely sure how women put up with them. They&#39;re veiny, <a href="http://amzn.to/2tW8ek0">creepy little flesh monsters</a> that serve next to no purpose besides helping you unrightfully earn 30% more than women. But some women just can&rsquo;t get enough d**k. And I respect that. Which is why I&#39;ve taken the time to compile this list of things you can turn to when your <a href="http://amzn.to/2tW8ek0">thirst for c**k</a> is purely insatiable. Things like...</p><h2>1. These veiny, throbbing, <a href="http://amzn.to/2tN10yp">dick-shaped lipsticks</a>.</h2><p><figure class="image"><div class="image-container"><img alt="" data-attribution="" data-attribution-url="" src="//cdn.someecards.com/posts/c412f4a9573fb17557cc4ab9e96ea7a7-R0Hlw8.jpg" /></div></figure><br /> Multiple colors available on Amazon for <a href="http://amzn.to/2tN10yp">$15</a>.</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>2. This rock-hard, but also <a href="http://amzn.to/2tRejh3">rock-soft throw pillow</a>.</h2><p><figure class="image"><div class="image-container"><img alt="" data-attribution="" data-attribution-url="" src="//cdn.someecards.com/posts/enhanced-17813-1457382803-1-6YDGTk.jpg" /></div></figure><br /> <em>Get it on Amazon for <a href="http://amzn.to/2tRejh3">$8.99</a>.</em></p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>3. This <a href="http://amzn.to/2tR2I1f">penis egg-fryer</a>, which is funny because that&#39;s what penises kind of do to a woman&#39;s eggs: fry them.</h2><p><figure class="image"><div class="image-container"><img alt="" data-attribution="" data-attribution-url="" src="//cdn.someecards.com/posts/httpamznto2svhbuy-600x550-wLjWYp.jpg" /></div></figure><br /> <a href="http://amzn.to/2tR2I1f">$6.75</a> seems like a reasonable price to pay for all of your eggs to look like a penis.</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>4. This cockfetti, so you can <a href="https://amzn.to/2MtgFZW">make it rain dicks</a> whenever you want.</h2><p><a href="https://amzn.to/2MtgFZW"><figure class="image"><div class="image-container"><img alt="" data-attribution="" data-attribution-url="" src="//cdn.someecards.com/posts/original-16027-1457447096-12-600x600-HPiDpc.jpg" /></div></figure></a></p><p>Get it on <a href="https://amzn.to/2MtgFZW">Amazon here.</a></p><h2>5. This <a href="http://amzn.to/2sun7FT">giant penis cake mold</a>.</h2><p><figure class="image"><div class="image-container"><img alt="" data-attribution="" data-attribution-url="" src="//cdn.someecards.com/posts/511enfdceplsl1200-600x600-MfsrMP.jpg" /></div></figure><br /> <em>Get it on Amazon for <a href="http://amzn.to/2sun7FT">$9.99</a>.</em></p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>6. Not a fan of cake? What about this <a href="https://amzn.to/2MbPyp9">ding-a-ling Jello mold</a>?</h2><p><a href="https://amzn.to/2MbPyp9"><figure class="image"><div class="image-container"><img alt="" data-attribution="" data-attribution-url="" src="//cdn.someecards.com/posts/51cconlt4ylsl1200-600x600-wXeUaG.jpg" /></div></figure></a></p><p>Get it on <a href="https://amzn.to/2MbPyp9">Amazon here</a>.</p><h1>7. It&#39;s not a party without <a href="https://amzn.to/2KD4vM5">dueling inflatable </a>wangs.</h1><p><a href="https://amzn.to/2KD4vM5"><figure class="image"><div class="image-container"><img alt="" data-attribution="" data-attribution-url="" src="//cdn.someecards.com/posts/51whidc3flsx522-6mvwBt.jpg" /></div></figure></a></p><h2>8. This <a href="https://amzn.to/2nlWnXr">penis throw pillow</a>, which is admittedly less over-the-top than this one.</h2><figure class="image"><a href="https://amzn.to/2nlWnXr"><div class="image-container"><img alt="" height="500" src="//cdn.someecards.com/posts/31iej5qpspl-dfSnTN.jpg" width="499" /></div></a> <figcaption></figcaption> </figure><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p><br /> On sale <a href="https://amzn.to/2nlWnXr">for $19.99.</a></p><h2>9. These <a href="https://amzn.to/2OmU164">dick earrings</a>.</h2><figure class="image"><a href="https://amzn.to/2OmU164"><div class="image-container"><img alt="" height="457" src="//cdn.someecards.com/posts/screen-shot-2018-08-08-at-84056-am-GE0HQf.png" width="494" /></div></a> <figcaption></figcaption> </figure><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p> </p><h2>10. This dick <a href="https://amzn.to/2OmVCZC" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">pi&ntilde;ata</a>.</h2><figure class="image"><a href="https://amzn.to/2OmVCZC"><div class="image-container"><img alt="" height="518" src="//cdn.someecards.com/posts/91gthttrfulsx522-YfMRug.jpg" width="522" /></div></a> <figcaption></figcaption> </figure><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>11. This <a href="https://amzn.to/2Mr8hdn">floral penis mug</a>.</h2><p><a href="https://amzn.to/2Mr8hdn"><figure class="image"><div class="image-container"><img alt="" data-attribution="" data-attribution-url="" src="//cdn.someecards.com/posts/81vvlrq8xwlsl1500-600x600-Y6T4op.jpg" /></div></figure></a></p><h2>12. These <a href="http://amzn.to/2sutoSc">penis slippers</a>.</h2><p> </p><p><a href="http://amzn.to/2sutoSc"><figure class="image"><div class="image-container"><img alt="" data-attribution="" data-attribution-url="" src="//cdn.someecards.com/posts/41imbdeoh8l-tArqC3.jpg" /></div></figure></a><br /> Come on, <a href="http://amzn.to/2sutoSc">at this price</a>, it&#39;s a must.</p><h2>13. This penis soap mold is a pretty great way to <a href="https://amzn.to/2OmO5tH">get more dick</a> in the shower.</h2><p><a href="https://amzn.to/2OmO5tH"><figure class="image"><div class="image-container"><img alt="" data-attribution="" data-attribution-url="" src="//cdn.someecards.com/posts/51ah2fmganlsl1000-600x600-odCYJ5.jpg" /></div></figure></a></p><h2>14. Got a sweet tooth? This <a href="https://amzn.to/2OmzcYu">penis cookie cutter</a> is a no brainer.</h2><p><a href="https://amzn.to/2OmzcYu"><figure class="image"><div class="image-container"><img alt="" data-attribution="" data-attribution-url="" src="//cdn.someecards.com/posts/71t1tjpnihlsx522-511x600-GRt4AV.jpg" /></div></figure></a></p><h2>15. These <a href="https://amzn.to/2KCACM2">novelty glasses</a>.</h2><p><a href="https://amzn.to/2KCACM2"><figure class="image"><div class="image-container"><img alt="" data-attribution="" data-attribution-url="" src="//cdn.someecards.com/posts/51svda5kqilsx522-8k6rOs.jpg" /></div></figure></a></p><h2>16. These <a href="https://amzn.to/2AS5SqL">schlong shaped candy bracelets</a>.</h2><p><a href="https://amzn.to/2AS5SqL"><figure class="image"><div class="image-container"><img alt="" data-attribution="" data-attribution-url="" src="//cdn.someecards.com/posts/51ouaignzl-oMX6Wp.jpg" /></div></figure></a></p><h2>17. These <a href="https://amzn.to/2Ky8o5b">see through penis leggings.</a></h2><figure class="image"><a href="https://amzn.to/2Ky8o5b"><div class="image-container"><img alt="" height="447" src="//cdn.someecards.com/posts/screen-shot-2018-08-08-at-85247-am-DenlXC.png" width="371" /></div></a> <figcaption></figcaption> </figure><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>18. Or maybe <a href="https://www.lookhuman.com/design/328407-dicks-and-butts-ugly-sweater-pattern/leggings">t</a><a href="https://amzn.to/2Om7YRP">his fine art print is more your style</a>.</h2><p> </p><figure class="image"><a href="https://amzn.to/2Om7YRP"><div class="image-container"><img alt="" height="500" src="//cdn.someecards.com/posts/91txy6qvihlsy500-PreUFm.jpg" width="398" /></div></a> <figcaption></figcaption> </figure><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>19. This <a href="https://amzn.to/2OiT5zG">penis themed coloring book.</a></h2><figure class="image"><a href="https://amzn.to/2OiT5zG"><div class="image-container"><img alt="" height="500" src="//cdn.someecards.com/posts/612wtbivxulsx398bo1204203200-JuChgS.jpg" width="400" /></div></a> <figcaption></figcaption> </figure><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>20. Hungry? <a href="https://amzn.to/2Om3yKq">Penis mac and cheese should solve that</a>.</h2><p> </p><figure class="image"><a href="https://amzn.to/2Om3yKq"><div class="image-container"><img alt="" height="500" src="//cdn.someecards.com/posts/61-zum9am0l-X1DOZR.jpg" width="500" /></div></a> <figcaption></figcaption> </figure><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>21. This <a href="https://amzn.to/2OiqCtI">big ole dick mug</a>.</h2><p> </p><p><a href="https://amzn.to/2OiqCtI"><figure class="image"><div class="image-container"><img alt="" data-attribution="" data-attribution-url="" src="//cdn.someecards.com/posts/41qen90yn2l-DhrmfD.jpg" /></div></figure></a></p><h2>22. This dick <a href="https://amzn.to/2OiqYk2">activity book</a>.</h2><p><a href="https://amzn.to/2OiqYk2"><figure class="image"><div class="image-container"><img alt="" data-attribution="" data-attribution-url="" src="//cdn.someecards.com/posts/51qf4mtzezl-CXrca9.jpg" /></div></figure></a></p><h2>23. A <a href="https://amzn.to/2ORe25N">penis guide book</a>.</h2><figure class="image"><a href="https://amzn.to/2ORe25N"><div class="image-container"><img alt="" height="346" src="//cdn.someecards.com/posts/41jxmcqu8nlsy346-cJGtXB.jpg" width="230" /></div></a> <figcaption></figcaption> </figure><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>24. <a href="https://amzn.to/2B3sEwb">Penis gummy bears</a> (mmm, we could eat these all day).</h2><figure class="image"><a href="https://amzn.to/2B3sEwb"><div class="image-container"><img alt="" height="299" src="//cdn.someecards.com/posts/318xr9anvbl-ngoOaH.jpg" width="300" /></div></a> <figcaption></figcaption> </figure><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>25. This <a href="https://amzn.to/2OhwyTE">penis shaped toothbrush</a> is a great way to fight cavities while also getting a dick in your mouth.</h2><figure class="image"><a href="https://amzn.to/2OhwyTE"><div class="image-container"><img alt="" height="450" src="//cdn.someecards.com/posts/41tshvi775l-WTLD7r.jpg" width="128" /></div></a> <figcaption></figcaption> </figure><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>26. This <a href="https://amzn.to/2ns9WER">tote bag</a> is a stylish conversation starter.</h2><figure class="image"><a href="https://amzn.to/2ns9WER"><div class="image-container"><img alt="" height="559" src="//cdn.someecards.com/posts/screen-shot-2018-08-08-at-90324-am-lSnD0y.png" width="520" /></div></a> <figcaption></figcaption> </figure><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2> </h2><p> </p><h2>27. Peter Pecker&#39;s <a href="https://amzn.to/2Md3GP5">bag of (gummy) dicks</a>.</h2><p><a href="https://amzn.to/2Md3GP5"><figure class="image"><div class="image-container"><img alt="" data-attribution="" data-attribution-url="" src="//cdn.someecards.com/posts/original-12985-1457390323-9-Sb1msG.jpg" /></div></figure></a></p><p><em>Just to be clear, we may or may not receive and a portion of the sales from these dick products. Our mothers are obviously proud. </em></p><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

27 Products For People Who Just Can't Ever Get Enough D**k

First off, I think dicks are pretty gross. And I&#39;m not entirely sure how women put up with them. They&#39;re veiny, creepy little flesh monsters that serve next to no purpose besides helping you unrightfully earn 30% more than women. But some women just can&rsquo;t get enough d**k. And I respect that. Which is why I&#39;ve taken the time to compile this list of things you can turn to when your thirst for c**k is purely insatiable. Things like...1. These veiny, throbbing, dick-shaped lipsticks. Multiple colors available on Amazon for $15.2. This rock-hard, but also rock-soft throw pillow. Get it on Amazon for $8.99.3. This penis egg-fryer, which is funny because that&#39;s what penises kind of do to a woman&#39;s eggs: fry them. $6.75 seems like a reasonable price to pay for all of your eggs to look like a penis.4. This cockfetti, so you can make it rain dicks whenever you want.Get it on Amazon here.5. This giant penis cake mold. Get it on Amazon for $9.99.6. Not a fan of cake? What about this ding-a-ling Jello mold?Get it on Amazon here.7. It&#39;s not a party without dueling inflatable wangs.8. This penis throw pillow, which is admittedly less over-the-top than this one.   On sale for $19.99.9. These dick earrings.   10. This dick pi&ntilde;ata.  11. This floral penis mug.12. These penis slippers.  Come on, at this price, it&#39;s a must.13. This penis soap mold is a pretty great way to get more dick in the shower.14. Got a sweet tooth? This penis cookie cutter is a no brainer.15. These novelty glasses.16. These schlong shaped candy bracelets.17. These see through penis leggings.  18. Or maybe this fine art print is more your style.   19. This penis themed coloring book.  20. Hungry? Penis mac and cheese should solve that.   21. This big ole dick mug. 22. This dick activity book.23. A penis guide book.  24. Penis gummy bears (mmm, we could eat these all day).  25. This penis shaped toothbrush is a great way to fight cavities while also getting a dick in your mouth.  26. This tote bag is a stylish conversation starter.    27. Peter Pecker&#39;s bag of (gummy) dicks.Just to be clear, we may or may not receive and a portion of the sales from these dick products. Our mothers are obviously proud. 

First off, I think dicks are pretty gross. And I&#39;m not entirely sure how women put up with them. They&#39;re veiny, creepy little flesh monsters that serve next to no purpose besides helping you unrightfully earn 30% more than women....