A guy fell off a scooter while watching porn, but his injury was even more embarrassing.

A guy fell off a scooter while watching porn, but his injury was even more embarrassing.
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A Chinese man fell off a taxi scooter while watching porn on his phone and suffered a terrible accident.

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Neither the time nor the place. (via YouTube)

China exports a lot of stuff. Three of the biggest are clothes, electronics, and cautionary tales. And they're unmatched in all three. Chinese cautionary tales are the best, whether they involve funeral strippers, nonconsensual diving pigs, censorship anthems, or IKEA squatters. This latest tale only applies to men, but they should take heed of it carefully, because it concerns their greatest fear.

Mr. Yu, a man from Guangdong, China, was hitching a ride on a taxi scooter when he had a fall that put Humpty Dumpty to shame. He was riding on the back of the scooter behind the driver and another passenger, and decided to occupy himself by watching porn on his phone. I guess he figured no one would be the wiser because no one was behind him.

The problem was that he wasn't holding on to the motorcycle. He had his phone in one hand and his other hand was… occupied in another manner. So when the bike hit a small bump, Yu went flying. And when he landed, he broke his penis.

Of course, the penis doesn't have any bones to break. But a sufficient trauma while it's erect can literally crush the spongy penile tissue, causing intense pain and deformation that can take years to heal. It's a hefty price to pay for getting your jollies off on the way to work.

Now, Yu is suing the driver for $65,000. I'm not sure if he'd be able to convince a jury that it was the driver's fault, or get the jury to stop laughing, but it's worth a shot. What else is he going to do with his time? His penis is broken.

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Before you go curl up in the fetal position and try not to think about this anymore, check out this thorough CGI recap of the whole story from Tomo News:

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