"Clit vs Penis: The Rap Battle" touches on a very sensitive subject.

"Clit vs Penis: The Rap Battle" touches on a very sensitive subject.
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They call it a battle, but in my experience, anytime dicks and clits bump heads, everyone wins.

Ah, genitals. Will we ever get tired of talking about them, singing about them, or unconsciously designing our culture's monuments to look like them? No. Evolution and the continuation of our species (and all species) demand we be very genital-obsessed. It's how we all got here. That doesn't mean we can't argue about whose uglies are better to bump. I can't say I've ever seen it in rap-battle form before, but I love it. This is part of the "Cliteracy" series going on over at the Huffington post, which is being spearheaded by artist and writer Sophia Wallace. Here is Someecards writer Jake Currie modeling one of her best-known works:


#solidgoldclit #cliteracy #cliteratti
A photo posted by Jake Currie (@jakecurrie) on

As a dong-possessor, I obviously have a stake in this fight, but I respect the clit. Clit-boosters like to talk up the nerve ending surplus, and of course it's tempting to be jealous of that. Then again, making your dick too sensitive seems like a sure way to cut your sexy-time short. We'll never be able to compare, really (who am I kidding? That's like the only technology in Minority Report besides the pre-cogs that hasn't already come true), but you just can't beat the dick for ease of use. "Pssh," some woman is saying in my head, "give me five minutes with my Hitachi Magic Wand and I'll show you ease of use." Oh yeah, fantasy lady? Wait until civilization collapses and there's no more electricity and all your "massager" is good for is bashing in the skulls of your enemies. You'll be sexually frustrated, and I'll be sitting on a throne of skulls, masturbating.

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