It's time, once again, to revisit some of the most pathetic ways men try to impress women. Thanks to an AskReddit that asked for anecdotes about "the least successful ways" men approached a not-to-be lover, here are 10 fools you can feel better than if you've ever tried—and crashed, and burned, and bottled up your charred remains for posterity—to get with someone.

1. The guy in llosa's story is in dire need of evolution.

This guy once sent me a video of him ejaculating and pointing out how copious it was. We were taking a fitness class together and I'd never even talked to him much.