Everything you wanted to know (but didn't know who to ask) about Feeld, the threesome app.

Everything you wanted to know (but didn't know who to ask) about Feeld, the threesome app.
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In 2016, online dating is a venerable, boring institution that has lost both its geeky shame and its exotic appeal. Alas, there's one kind of app that's still foreign territory for most people: the group sex kind.

Right now, one of the biggest names among digitally-savvy swingers is called Feeld, as in "playing the field." It used to be called 3nder, pronounced "Thrinder," until a trademark infringement lawsuit from Tinder put an end to that.

Here's Feeld's app description, which is wonderfully philosophical about a tool to help you find group sex:

A dating app where you can meet couples or singles with minds that breathe freedom. A field for you to discover your sexuality and explore it by yourself, with your other half or with any human you'd like. I am the fruit of the love of one human to another, and their journey together. They want to feel and be free, together. Why abide by norms you never defined? Explore love beyond societal norms. I am open-minded. I am future.

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Since my wife would disapprove of me doing direct research, I talked to my swingin'-est friend, who asked I not use his name, about what it's like to use. We will refer to him as "FeeldPlaya6969" because he said I could call him whatever I wanted.

Johnny: What's the gender ratio of Feeld like?

FeeldPlaya6969: I estimate that there are about 100 times as many men on [the app] as women, based on looking at my female friends' accounts.

Is there any lingo people use to signal that they're regulars in the, ahem, field?

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People say "GGG," which I like and it kind of marks them as a liiiitle bit of an insider.

Johnny: "GGG"? Is that like the Good Guy Greg meme?

Good, giving, game. It's like an "in" way of saying you're dtf and also down to reciprocate. Fact check me on that.

(I did fact-check him, and he was right. The term "good, giving, game" or "GGG" was coined by sex columnist Dan Savage.)

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Bottom line, how fertile is the field you're plowing, here?

I've had relatively few actual meetups from it, in part because the pickings are slim for us single dudes.

(Note: He told me earlier that day he'd had both a MMF and a MFF threesome via the app in the previous week, so "relatively few" is, indeed, relative.)

Now, to me, threesomes are pretty exotic, but is it mostly just regular sex or is there a big kink scene?

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There isn't as much overlap with Fetlife [a social networking site for kinky people] as you'd think.

Are there any warnings you would give people thinking about trying it out?

Your readers should know that once you install it on your phone and decide whether you're single or a couple, it's very difficult (maybe impossible) to change even if you uninstall and reinstall the app. It's probably something server-side connected to your Facebook. That leads to difficulties when people couple up or de-couple.

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Any disappointments?

A lot of the cutest women I match with actually never write me back (much more frequent than Tinder).

That must be very hard for you. What's the weirdest match?

Once I matched with an account that was all pictures of a lady but then as soon as we matched they said the pictures weren't actually of them and they were a dude. Not sure what the angle was there.

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What's the best way to guarantee a ménage à trois?

All the good people I've matched with I was in their first few matches on the app. It seems like good people get very full schedules from it very quickly, so there's an aspect of luck: you matching with someone right when they first start using it.

What's it like stepping in with a couple?

I don't have any evidence for this, but I'd guess you can tell which person in the couple is more into the app based on how many pictures of themselves there are on there. I've matched with couples where the dude has never written a single thing and I've just met up with the girl.

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Anything else you want to add?

There have been really great encounters, in part because we've done a lot of sexy messaging beforehand. People are just more open about sex than on other dating apps, so typically when I've met a woman (most of my meetups have been with just one lady at a time) they've already orgasmed to my words several times. That leads to really great first meetings obviously.

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