Some phrases are exactly the right thing to say in a certain situation. In the throes of passions, you want to mutter (or shout) something that's both sexy and not weird. At a funeral, you've got to choose your words carefully so that they are both respectful and comforting.
Somehow, several geniuses on Reddit realized that a lot of things a person would reasonably say during sex are the exact same things that might be overheard at a funeral.
Here are the most hilarious examples of this linguistic phenomenon.
1. Appreciate your efficiency, Malthazzar.
"I came as soon as I could."
2. Glad you came, MikoSqz.
"It's OK, daddy's here."
3. And it's nothing to be embarrassed about, bad-samantha.
It happens to every man at some point!
4. And yet also soft, Snuggles_gate.
It so unbelievably hard...
5. How thoughtful of you, tellmeayomamajoke.
"Here, have a tissue."
6. Just give it 20 minutes or so, Use_The_Sauce.
It happened too soon.
7. It usually is, --Speed--. It usually is.
"It was the second stroke that did it..."
8. You get what you pay for, JDynes82.
This was way too expensive.
9. Pressthebuttonfrank knows how to keep the fun going.
"Let's get something to eat afterwards."
10. It never happens when you think it does, goodgirlmomo.
He lasted longer than I thought he would.
11. Sure it is, 777kid.
"I know this is hard to take."
12. One of many, ProjectShadow316.
"What a wonderful service."
13. Dunno, TwistedBlister. Internet?
Why are you videotaping this?
14. It's true, dickfromaccounting, that's not everybody's thing.
"Can you close that, I don't want to see that."
15. Too little, too late, Put_It_All_On_Blck.
I know you are hurting right now, but things will get better.
16. As is everyone, smallsea.
"I'm sorry for what's happened."
17. As does everyone, dm4hire.
"That was rough. I need a cigarette."
18. That's just sick, ThePhanie.
I love you.