This glow-in-the-dark snorkel has one very NSFW purpose. Perfect Father's Day gift?

This glow-in-the-dark snorkel has one very NSFW purpose. Perfect Father's Day gift?
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Let's just get this over with: Amazon is listing a product called the Glow N Dark Pussy Snorkel. The cunnilingus safety device is currently unavailable for purchase, but worth knowing about because its purpose and description would even make the cashier at your local Spencer's blush.

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What safe sex looks like in 2016.

Here is how the Pussy Snorkel is being marketed.

The Pussy Snorkel allows a man to continue breathing while performing oral sex on a woman in a spa, bathtub or even a bowl of green Jell-O. Insert the breathing apparatus into your nostrils, rub the clitoral stimulator against your favorite coral reef and start with the tongue action. With the Pussy Snorkel, any man can be a dive master.

This advancement in oral sex is purely technological. With the Pussy Snorkel description intending it to be used exclusively by men on women, the company, Glow N Dark, fails to acknowledge its potential female customer base. One would expect a business that produces cheap (probably toxic) glowing party supplies to be caught up with the social mores of the times.

Most customer responses went all-in on obvious puns, like Ruud Lubbers' committed 3-star review:

I don’t know who’s idea this was, but I don’t think they thought it through very well.

I ordered one of these for my cat, Mr. Razzles, and it took me forever to get it on his head - I don’t know what the makers were thinking, but it’s waaaay too big for the average housecat.

Finally - after quite a struggle - I got it on and proceeded to throw Mr. Razzles into the pool. Well he absolutely FREAKED OUT! He thrashed around in the water for a minute or so before wriggling out of the pussy snorkel and then swam right for the side of the pool and climbed out before I could even get in the water with him to enjoy a nice swim.

When I tried to put it back on him, he started hissing and biting and bolted out of the backyard back into the house, where he hid under the credenza for THREE DAYS before my husband finally lured him out with some tuna...

He’s been traumatized and distrustful ever since! I don’t recommend this for cat owners or pet lovers - it’s just a bad idea all around!

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Another anonymous user replied with a concise, honest 1-star rating:

Doesn't work.

I'm still drowning in pussy.

The 'Customers Who Viewed This Item Also Viewed' section is pretty telling about what kind of demographic the Pussy Snorkel is attracting.

Novelty sex toys, big game hunting tools, Star Trek trinkets, and UFO magnetometers. All perfect for a last minute Father's Day gift.

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