A brave man has come forward on Reddit to tell the sobering story of the time he peed inside his girlfriend while they were having sex. Redditor that_guy_who_pissed (not his normal account) confessed his crime in the ever-popular Today I Fucked Up forum. Once you read it, you'll agree it fits the title.
So before i begin, i just want to clarify that i am using a throw away account to save myself the embarrassment in case my mates recognize my main account. Also, apu this happened in August 2016 so its been a fair few months.
Last year, in early February, i decided to travel the world for a few months with the money i had inherited from a deceased uncle (not too much money but it was enough to allow me to travel). I decided to invite my GF along but after some discussion, she decided that she couldn't go due to commitments to work and her education (she is 22 and about to leave uni while i'm 23 and have left already), so i respected her choice and invited my friend along who accepted.
We left in early February 2016 and planned to get back around late August of the same year meaning i planned to spend around 6 months without my GF.
The next months were tough without my GF and i missed her a lot but me and my mate got some good life experiences out of the trip and i do sometimes wish i was back in Australia or any of the other amazing places i visited.
The FU happened when i got back.
It had been 6 months and i had only seen my GF occasionally over dodgy internet connection skype calls and we hadn't done cyber-sex (or whatever TF it's called) as we thought it would be better to wait until we see each other.
When i finally got dropped home by my friend, my GF was already getting ready for the naughtiness to begin and i quickly began to undress when i suddenly realized i desperately needed to pee. However, at this point we were already getting down to it and i didn't want to ruin the moment so i soldiered on.
Worst decision ever.
To put it simply, let's just say that i had been on a 14 hour flight and hadn't been for a whiz for a looooooong time. The dam was bursting.
Before i could pull out, it just released and propelled my dick out of her leaving me spraying piss on our bed; meanwhile pee was dripping out off her and she was a mix between extremely furious and caught off guard.
It was the most embarrassing moment of my life and i still have to give her foot massages whenever she wants to make up for it :(
TL:DR I pissed inside my GF after rushing to get it on instead of emptying my bladder after a 14 hour flight.
First of all, that is crazy. Who can even think about having sex when they haven't peed in 14 hours? (A 23-year-old dude, that's who.) Also, this girlfriend deserves a Nobel Prize for not dumping his golden showering ass.
Let this be a lesson to all the dudes out there—it won't ruin the romance to pee first. And the alternative is much, much worse.