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When a dude named Alex got a huge hickey from someone who wasn't his girlfriend, he didn't cover it up with makeup, a scarf, or a turtleneck. Instead, Alex concocted an excuse that would make the police worried.

“I told my dad yesterday I was gunna see you today and he thought it would be funny to jump on me to wake me up and he gave me a hickey, I was like really!!!! This is huge!!! My mom said I look like white trash," he wrote in a Snapchat text message (a feature which apparently exists).

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Blaming your parents for everything is an excuse as old as time (just ask all therapists), but while it works well for things like having to go to a birthday party or repressing rage, hickeys should never be blamed on dads.

Even Eric Forman had a better excuse.

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Next time, don't cheat. Or at least, don't be afraid of makeup.