The human capacity for perversion is matched by the human capacity for invention.

Anything can be genitals if you just believe. (via Thinkstock)

We're living in sexually frustrated times. We use apps because we've given up on meeting people spontaneously, all our friends are either single and lonely or completely immersed in long-term relationships, and people have resorted to desperate measures to keep their libidos in check. You can either accept it and resign yourself to the malaise that is modern American sexuality, or you can take a risk and welcome a new type of lover: inanimate objects. Let's all take a moment to honor those brave souls who wouldn't let their social, moral, and logical faculties get in the way of their desire.