Human beings make such an inordinate effort to sex one another that it seems, in the height of the act, like nothing could possibly derail it before some kind of conclusion is reached. But that's where you're wrong. Oh, you're so very wrong.
For evidence, we turn once again to AskReddit, where this golden query was posed: "What happened to make you stop having sex halfway through?" The answers will make you wonder whether it's ever worth starting in the first place.
1. paigezero experienced exactly what every man tells himself will never happen to him.
We spotted blood, it turned out to be a small split in my frenulum (the string of skin that anchors the foreskin to the head.) My dick was bleeding, it was owie.
2. wastingtoomuchthyme got to know his date way too well.
In the middle of it she blurted out her father / grandfather are schizophrenic and sexually assaulting her for years when she was little.
3. RoosterShield answered on behalf of all parents.
The kids woke up. The kids always wake up, those cockblocking, RoosterShielding bastards.
4. Dafuzz found out that some genies can't be put back in their bottles.
She farted while I was inside her, she was mortified but I thought it was hilarious and started laughing uncontrollably, but she didn't pull away until I farted really loud while laughing.
5. Kokennin and his girlfriend seem like a fun couple.
This happened to me a few months ago. Was going down on my girlfriend and after a few moments something tasted off. I pull my face away from her and think that I taste blood. Worst suspicion is that I have accidentally earned my Red Wings. Nope. I had gotten a nosebleed while going down on her. When she realized this she looked me dead in the eyes and said, "You fucking weeaboo." We could not stop laughing.
6. yung_bubu needs someone with his sense of humor.
It was a normal night of fucking for me and my fwb at the time. She was riding me and suddenly just this massive string of queefs just explodes from her. I'm holding back laughter as I type this but it was absurdly loud and long. She kinda just stopped moving and sighed really loudly and hopped off. I personally thought it was hilarious
7. TheDandyWarhol was there with a classic sex-stopper.
My dog licked her asshole while she was riding cowgirl.
8. longboardshayde was done in by an apparently jealous roommate.
Roomate and I have the rooms on the top floor, literally just a staircase up to a landing with my door on the right his on the left.
We were both doing it with our respective girlfriends, it was funny enough that both parties could CLEARLY hear the other, when our 3rd roommate, drunk off his ass, comes home and storms up the stairs yelling that he wants to hangout.
He reached the top step while yelling our names, then suddenly went completely silent, probably because he clued in to the sex noises coming from both rooms.
Since he was drunk, he decides the right action at this point is to sit down on the landing, pout, and start playing porn off his phone at max volume.
We tried to keep going, but after a minute I was cracking up so hard I had to stop. I got up, but a bathrobe on and whipped open my door..... Right as my other roommate did the same thing. We both looked at each other, looked at roomie #3 who had at this point literally fallen asleep leaning on the wall with his phone in hand still playing porn, and just burst out laughing. We both walked him down to his bedroom and put him to bed before going back upstairs, but needless to say the mood was ruined at that point.
All had a great laugh about it the next morning, drunk roommate had 0 recollection of the whole thing and was totally mortified when we told him what he did.
9. amaezingjew didn't get the kind of dirty talk she was after.
He said something along the lines of "How crazy would it be if we had a baby together?"
He wasn't some random, he was my best friend and fuck buddy. It was still weird.
10. LovesMeSomeRedhead discovered that outdoor sex presents its own unique challenges.
I noticed that a group of turkeys were twenty yards away and watching us. We'd been out turkey hunting and it was going poorly. Since it was a nice sunny morning we rolled out a blanket and started fooling around. Mid way through, we noticed the turkeys watching. My shotgun was laying next to us. My ex whispered "shoot them!" so I got up, picked up the shotgun, and standing there naked with a raging hard on, killed a turkey.
11. Things got a little too Freudian for widsio.
She was on top, ran her fingers through my chest hair and said: "you're hairy just like my dad."
12. Let's hope whoever plax1780 was with had good insurance.
I broke her hip