Playboy ranked the sexiest cities in America, so you can see how much your neighbors do it.

Playboy ranked the sexiest cities in America, so you can see how much your neighbors do it.
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The ranking includes data from Ashley Madison, so you know it's 100% accurate and trustworthy.

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Playboy, the company that somehow maintains an air of classiness despite 10,000 reasons that it's skeevy, has released a list of the 25 sexiest cities in America. Or, as far as I can figure out, it has released a list of cities with the most walkable nightlife, which they say translates to more opportunities to get tore up and bone. If walkability is what makes a place sexy, then my parents' 55+ housing development in Florida is sexier than Hef's bedroom.* 

OK, so there are a few other elements that went into Playboy's ratings, including frequency of sex, length of sexual congress, interest in kink, money spent on sex toys, and that good ol' Ashely Madison info. That includes nuggets like this one, for Phoenix, AZ: "Ashley Madison says 33 percent of its female members here are on the prowl for somebody else’s husband — the highest rate in the U.S. Plus, Phoenix mistresses rack up five partners a year on average, double the rate anywhere else." Considering that most of the women on the site were fake, and the site was 90-95% men, maybe you wanna take that part out, Playboy?

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Like so many of these "the most X cities in America" lists, it's basically just "Hey, guys, we put the biggest cities in America in a different order. Take a look!" But they do pull in some interesting details, Like, people in Miami like having sex in cars more than any other city in the country. I presume this is just because Miami is so muggy that people don't want to get out of their air-conditioned cars in order to plow someone.

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Anyway, here are Playboy's sexiest cities in America:

1. New York
2. Los Angeles
3. Chicago
4. Miami
5. San Francisco
6. Boston
7. Seattle
8. Las Vegas
9. San Diego
10. Portland
11. Dallas
12. Philadelphia
13. Austin
14. Minneapolis
15. Denver
16. Tampa
17. Atlanta
18. Phoenix
19. Washington, D.C.
20. Charlotte
21. Orlando
22. Houston
23. Pittsburgh
24. New Orleans
25. Santa Barbara

They also mentioned the least-sexy city... Detroit. Great job kicking a city when it's already down, Playboy

You can read all of the details about the kinkiest/not kinkiest cities, what surprising city does the most sexting, and more Totally True Ashley Madison stats (and actually true stats taken from other places, like NerdWallet) on Playboy's website.

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* When Hef isn't in it. Hef entering any room drives down that room's sexiness by 78%, which is why the Playboy bunnies have to be SO attractive.

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