One thing people love about sex almost as much as doing it is talking about it—how they do it, when they do it, and, of course, where they do it. Personally, when I'm watching a movie with a passionate love scene where people knock stuff off tables or desks, all I can think is, "That was all organized perfectly and now it's a huge mess." I hear about people doing it on kitchen floors, and wonder, "Don't these people know about beds?" But some people crave variety, and for others, when the urge hits, any port in a storm, right?
I picked through some Reddit threads looking for the strangest places people ever did the deed, and don't be shocked, but a lot of you are having sex in churches. Like, a LOT. Also, a surprising number of people have done it on amusement park rides. Probably the most important thing I learned from getting nosy about where people are doing the nasty is that you should never touch any surface of any place anywhere, ever again, because people have probably screwed on it.
1. I don't know if KebNes' age admission is supposed to make it better or worse.
Tube slide at an elementary school. Both of us were over 18.
2. FergBerger had a really romantic anniversary date night with his 8-months-pregnant wife. Especially the part about the HVAC unit.
I work in commercial construction. I know the maintenance manager of a building close to downtown who agreed to let us have an anniversary date on the roof. Took my 8 month pregnant wife to the rooftop (via a 2' x 2' scuttle hole she had to climb up). Didn't take much convincing that we had a rare opportunity to have sex on a roof. To stay out of sight, we were behind a large HVAC unit. I just knew the security guard was going to come see why we were taking so long up there.
3. Wait, is Youtht0pia talking about the sex or the tattoo?
Tattoo bed. The tattoo guy left me and my gf alone for quite a while because he went to meet another client. I feel kinda bad about it, but what's done is done, I can't change it.
Not that I would.
4. It's what Rembrandt would have wanted, CassandraVindicated.
In Rembrandt's closet. His home is a museum and they left a closet door unlocked; my gf and I took advantage.
7th century church ruins in Ireland. In 25 years of marriage ranks as the top sex ever. 15 years ago and I still recall every detail.
Public library. Pretty hard keeping quiet.
7. Bvred lived a perfect TV sitcom scenario.
Under the choir room piano (covered), teacher came in early and got stuck there until first period began and ended and he left for his free hour.
8. That's a kids' ride, dammit, somethingsupwivchuck!
In one of the teacups at Disneyland Paris.
9. Tinyspace and his/her partner may be the only people in history who ever had fun at a post office.
Post office. Was the only place open after sneaking out on a cold night. Probably on camera somewhere.
10. Just because it's called "seminary" doesn't mean you should be screwing, Relic199.
On stage with the Bishop's daughter at a Mormon Church. It was during "early morning" seminary, so all the lights were off, and I'm reasonably sure no one saw us. But I will say, the Bishop hated me afterwards. Good times.
11. PussySvengali remembers the best part of being a teenager.
In a tree. In a cemetery. I gothed SO HARD back then.
12. KCSunshine111 demonstrates why you should always lock up your yacht.
On a boat. That belonged to neither of us. At 2am. After jumping the fence of the marina and checking boats to find an unlocked one. We weren't finding anything unlocked and then on a whim, I went for the biggest boat in the marina. The sliding glass doors opened... We left the captain's quarters the way we found it.
13. Jsscmatthew really got into the holiday spirit.
I had sex under the town's Christmas tree.
In a canoe. We pulled it half way on land for more stability, but it was still very difficult.
15. Neither would the fish, ComradeRK.
In the ocean. Would not recommend, to be honest.
On the lawn out the front of a police station in rural Australia.
17. Bawl-o-gravay found a way to make shopping fun.
A dressing room at the mall
18. MENTATIX could have made a movie called Das Knocking Boots.
Engine room in a decommissioned Russian submarine.
19. This is what the Aerosmith song is about, right, thedankbank1021?
Ex and I did it in an elevator in the Chrysler building. Just a quickie. Then security was there when the door opened and they asked us to leave.
20. Beastgunner knows you've got to do a test drive before you buy the car.
One of those furnished model homes in front of neighborhoods. The door was unlocked so...
21. Ugh, DreamingMerc, then you've got to wash the inside of the car, too.
In a car, in a drive-in car wash at a Chevron during a double wash.
22. FavoriteKeeper hit the trifecta: bathroom, church, and funeral.
In a church bathroom at my grandfather's funeral. :(
23. As long as they weren't actually involved, PokePokeKachok.
One time my ex and I couldn't wait and we fucked in her aunt's cow birthing room... with a cow and her newborn in the room.
24. That's ok, iQUE2012, if it was a Greyhound, at least two other couples were probably having sex, too. Probably the driver, too.
Had sex on greyhound bus 4 or 5 rows from the back. It was around 4am while everyone was sleep
25. Smeggywulff definitely enjoyed church more than I did.
In a church bathroom with my girlfriend. I'm also a girl. It still makes me giggle, 14 years later.