Golf course community haunted by 'dumpy' woman soliciting strangers for '10 man train.'

Golf course community haunted by 'dumpy' woman soliciting strangers for '10 man train.'
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Arranging an orgy on Craigslist can be so impersonal. Presumably, that's why one "dumpy" middle-aged woman is cruising the Barnehurst Golf Course southeast of London to find unsuspecting (or way-too-suspecting) new participants to join her in a "10 man train."

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Warning, her hair is bushy af.

The description of the dog-walking pervert is less than flattering, and at first seems almost like a joke:

WARNING

PLEASE BE WARNED ABOUT THIS WOMAN

WHITE, 5FT 4IN, DUMPY BUILD, MIDDLE AGED, DARK BLONDE SHOULDER LENGTH BUSHY HAIR, WEARS GLASSES AND WALKS A GREY DOG.

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Calling her "dumpy" seems uncalled for, but maybe that was just the best way they could think of to describe her so that others would recognize her. Not only did this woman dare to be dumpy, she was also allegedly sexually assaulting people under the guise of being an innocent woman walking her dog.

To wit, here is the rest of the warning:

THIS WOMAN IS A DISGUSTING PERVERT

FRIENDLY AT FIRST BUT BE WARNED SHE HAS AN AGENDA. BOTH SHE AND HER PARTNER ARE DOGGERS, TRYING TO TEST THE WATERS TO SEE IF YOU WANT TO JOIN IN THEIR DIRTY ANTICS.

I AM WARNING YOU AS I WAS NAIVE AND THOUGHT SHE WAS JUST OVERFRIENDLY. SHE MAKES ACQUAINTANCES THEN MAKES REMARKS AND ADVANCES THAT ARE SEXUALLY MOTIVATED. INVITING YOU TO MIDNIGHT WALKS WITH THE "DOG" EXCEPT THERE IS NO DOG!!

SHE MUST BE AVOIDED - WHEN SHE TRIED TO TOUCH ME IN MY SPECIAL PLACE I KNEW THAT SHE WAS A DIRTY PERVY DOGGER. SHE GOT VERY ABUSIVE WHEN I CHALLENGED HER ON HER ACTIONS

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Dogger is perhaps the most perfect way to describe this woman. The number one result for the word on Urban Dictionary is "a person who jogs with their dog." The second most popular is "a person who like to have sex in public." This woman is both.

At first blush, the bizarre language of the sign makes it seem like a joke. It reads at first like it was written by a judgmental man who was offended at being hit on by a middle-aged woman, but upon closer inspection, there's a lot more going on.

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This part, in particular, changes the tone of the warning from "funny ha ha" to "funny restraining order."

SHE GOT VERY ABUSIVE WHEN I TRIED TO CHALLENGE HER ON HER ACTIONS. SHE IS TRYING TO ARRANGE SEEDY GET TOGETHERS ON THIS FIELD - IF SHE OFFERS YOU A 10 MAN TRAIN OR ASKS IF YOU LIKE PEARLY RAIN YOU KNOW IT'S TIME TO WALK AWAY!

WE HAVE ALL SEEN THE STOCKINGS ON THE BUSHES. GIVE HER A WIDE BERTH.

Let's just say that "pearly rain" isn't a song Prince is writing in heaven. As amusing as this warning is, this sounds like the for-real attempts of a horny woman to solicit people (probably women, but maybe men... hopefully not dogs) into participating in her serious group activities. Not that there's anything wrong with a 10 man train ending in pearly rain, but it's not something that normally comes up in the course of a dog-walking conversation.

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Besides which, why is she soliciting others? Is she too dumpy to be the recipient of 10 dicks? Is she required to bring fresh meat before she gets a whack at them? Or has she just reached a point in her middle-aged life where the thrill comes from the proposition and subsequent voyeurism of nervous young strangers?

If we ever want the answers to these questions, we know what we have to do: find those stockings on the bushes at Barnehurst and stay the course.

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