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You ought to take everything you read on the internet with a giant grain of salt, but as they say in journalism, some stories are too good to fact-check. Case in point: this bizarre tale of how a couple managed to severely injure each other while having raucous sex in the middle of the night.

Whether these Snapchats indeed relate true events or just serve to embellish a less-crazy account of what happened, we of course wish both victims a speedy recovery—and continued (but safe) intimate pleasures.

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Good god, what a wild ride. I think I may just bring a mouthguard on my next date.