Say hello to your new mail order girlfriend.

First of all, you all totally know what a Fleshlight is, so I won't be explaining that here. And if you don't know, you really have no business reading this post anyway. Come on. Please don't make me do it. I already had to explain a bouncy house made of giant boobs yesterday. Ugh! Okay, real quick: When a daddy loves a thing that looks kind of like a donut lightsaber very much, he unzips his— Nope! Never mind. Just read about it here, if you really need to.

Sources: Fleshlight | h/t redditor immorta1