Does this look like a man who has sex with cars? Yep.
Whatever shame you may be feeling about your freaky sex fetish you keep locked away in the dark corner of your brain, prepare to feel a little better about yourself. Unless your sex fantasies involve having sexual relations with cars. If that's the case, you can at least take some comfort knowing that you're not alone. You're still a freak, but at least you have Edward Smith to lean on. He's the guy who went on TV recently to claim that he's not only into "having sex" with automobiles, but that he's "been with" over 700 of them. Basically, he's jerking off on cars.
Smith appeared on the British talk show This Morning to discuss his fetish. What might be even more odd than the fact that he's into cars is how comfortable he is talking about it on television. He told the hosts that his love of cars began when he was a child and that he "lost his virginity" to a Volkswagen Beetle when he was a teenager. He's currently in love with his "long term girlfriend," a white Bug named Vanilla. So typical that even a dude who has sex with cars is into German blondes.
Smith says the "sex" doesn't involve actual penetration. You know, because that would be weird. He just loves to cuddle and caress the vehicles... before masturbating on them.
So, if you live in the Seattle area and have been baffled as to how semen ever got on your car, you may have your answer. Also, don't ever buy a used car from Edward Smith.
(by Jonathan Corbett)