After ordering an at-home tattooing kit online, this woman hosted tattoo parties in her home. One day she woke up with this.
That's not Mr. Bluebird on your shoulder. (via Birmingham Mail)
At first, when she was 17 and drunk and partying, she thought the penis permanently squirting over her shoulder was hilarious. By the morning, Holly Aston was over it.
It's such an ugly dick, too. The head is really crudely drawn and the balls look more like the cross guard of a sword.
As she tells the Birmingham Mail, she was able to order an at home tattoo kit for less than a $100. It came with a needle and a bunch of ink and absolutely no instructions on how to prevent infection. It also didn't come with the warning: don't be a 17-year-old idiot and let people tattoo whatever they want on you, because whatever they want will always be a dick. Always.