People who were virgins until marriage talk about what their first time was like. Hint: not great.

People who were virgins until marriage talk about what their first time was like. Hint: not great.

Some people, for whatever reason, religious or personal or any other thing that's absolutely none of our business, choose to wait until marriage to have sex. Depending on time spent dating and engaged, that's an awful lot of buildup of expectations. Newlyweds who are still virgins might be excited, or scared, or any combination of feelings. Over on Reddit, some no-bed-til-wed folks are sharing stories of what their first times were like. Overall? Probably not super wonderful on the very first try. But practice makes perfect!

1. It took a few days for Ranucolo and her husband to finally get the deed done.

My husband and I were both virgins when we got married. We finally lost the V-card 3 days after the wedding.

On our wedding night, he couldn't get the right angle to get in and had a premature detonation. I was too shy to help guide him in. He said "Shit! I'm so sorry!" and then we went to sleep. Repeat for a few days until finally BOOM! It hurt for a second and it was over another second later. We've been married 10 years now, we're happy and have a good, healthy sex life. I think we're both rather easy going and found it rather funny. It helped that neither of us had high expectations that it was going to be magic the first few (50) times. We still tease each other about it now.


2. Openthread learned that if at first you don't succeed, just try, try again (like twenty minutes later).

My wife and I were both virgins when we got married. The first time was great and funny to look back on. I didn't even make it fully inside her before blowing my load but after 15-20 minutes we were right back at it and had better success. We went at it at least one other time that night and then were humping like rabbits as soon as we woke up the next day. So much sex that week...

3. Inexperiencedascrap savored the journey rather than the destination. Oh, and also the pizza.

I'd rate it a solid 10/10.

Not because of the sex. Because it was NOT the best sex ever. Not even close.

But because I enjoyed figuring out this new and really really SURPRISINGLY complicated thing with my husband. And it was enjoyable and fun despite not having mind blowing orgasms.

Also we ate a whole pizza in the huge Jacuzzi tub during the pre and post sexy times. I'd recommend that to everyone.


4. FingersMcGee14 and his lady had gotten so used to not having sex that they basically forgot (and keep forgetting) that it's a thing they can do.

It was ... fine. The most awkward part was that both of us forgot lube and texted the maid of honor, asking her to go to a store and get us some.

The big problem that we have is that we were together for 4 years before we got married so we got really good at not having sex. Even after being married for a few years we sometimes seem to forget that it is just a thing we can do instead of watching old Futurama or Top Chef.


5. DenSem had a bit of a rough start, but had a blast practicing.

Short, dissapointing, and shameful due to the duration.

Happy to report that practice makes perfect, and it's fun practicing.

6. There's no denying that BonquiquiShiquavius didn't have quite the ideal wedding night. Hey, sometimes it takes a while.

Man here, it was awful. Waited until married, new wife just got her period, and she was super emotional after all the wedding stuff. Plus she was a virgin too, so think super emotional, slightly painful, period sex that ended in less than 5 seconds. Second time next morning wasn't much better, except it lasted seconds longer.

Got much better after that. Still married 11 years later.


7. I_am_not_a_burrito's wife got herself ready using "expanders" she'd gotten from her OB/GYN—a little (or lot of) preparation can be a great thing.

My wife and I both waited until our wedding night. And I'm in the minority here, but it was honestly fantastic. We started out by always being honest about our expectations of sex, and what we wanted from it, both personally and for our relationship. A couple months before the wedding, she went to her OBGYN and told him her plan. He gave her something I've never seen before: a series of plastic "expanders" that increased in size....or basically, just cheap, plastic dildos that no one would ever actually use to stimulate themselves. They started out really the size of a pencil...and increased in size to be about average penis size. So she basically stretched herself out beforehand. This resulted in a MUCH more pleasurable and pain-free experience for her. We also had a variety of condoms (ribbed, flavored, etc) and oils/rubs to use. My best friend had also given me some tips on how to make sure I didn't go too early. Which was very helpful. So now finally to the wedding night....the first time. We went to our hotel after the wedding, ordered Pizza Hut, she changed into lingerie, and I waited on the bed. We both got to know each other a bit more, and then had a great first time. We ended up doing it a couple more times throughout the course of the evening. She even woke me up in the middle of the night and asked if I was ready (that hasn't happened much since). So basically, if you're waiting, just be prepared, talk with each other about expectations, see your OBGYN, have lots of ideas of things you wanna try (and you're both on board with trying), and have fun.


8. The night of poptartburner's first time was truly a comedy of errors. Luckily, they had more than one night to get it right.

My wife and I both waited until marriage. Our first night was a disaster.

We actually got walked in on by strangers while we were stripping in our hotel room because the hotel switched our room last minute and forgot to give the other couple a different key.

It took me quite a while to get it up. I wasn't particularly nervous, I think the little guy was just shy. She said later she didn't even notice.

I spilled the entire bottle of lube in the middle of the bed.

Although it was kind of a disaster we were able to laugh about it and we still had fun and look back fondly on the night.

edit: Since a LOT of people are asking about it - We knew we were going to need lube because a side effect of her birth control is that it makes her very dry.


9. For GetOutTheWayBanana, the sex might have been a little disappointing at first, but being naked and together and married was anything but.

My husband and I were both virgins when we got married. We were very excited, not only to have sex for the first time, but to get to live in the same house, go to sleep in the same bed, etc. Up until we got married, we never spent time alone together in his apartment or my dorm.

It wasn't as if we just had great sex immediately (I was painfully tight and also a bit fearful, and he couldn't last for very long) but that didn't really matter. We talked openly, and just spent time together and touched each other and enjoyed being together, and laughed a lot together (we played rock paper scissors for who would take their clothes off first!)

So honestly, the first night in terms of sex was pretty disappointing, but neither of us were disappointed because we weren't just looking forward to sex, we were looking forward to being married. And we were thrilled that we were finally married and got to live together!

By the end of the honeymoon we were better at just the literal mechanics of sex, and no less thrilled to be around each other and be married (and be naked!)


10. Olivia Newton-John will always hold a special place in bethesda1313's heart…and another one of her body parts, too.

My husband and I were both virgins when we got married. I was a very plain 19 year old and he was 25 and never had the opportunity. Our wedding night was awesome and hilarious. When we got to the hotel, I put on my brand new silk nightgown and he turned on the radio. We started getting used to the new freedom when 'Let's get Physical' by Olivia Newton John came on the radio. We felt it was a sign and just went for it. We were giggling so much. We made love 3 times the first night and the same song came on during each session. It made it so memorable. It has been 35 years and that song atill makes us laugh and run to the bedroom. The sex is still awesome.


11. I-am-willow's first night wasn't great, and she admits it can be disheartening to wait so long for one thing and have it not go as planned.

My husband and I both waited until we were married.

But on our wedding night, I suppose from all the commotion and stress from the wedding, my husband came down with a high fever about the same time we made it to our hotel room. So we just ordered in a pizza and went to sleep.

The next day though, we gave it a whirl. Or tried, I should say.

I'm not entirely sure how much of it was because of our own inexperience and how much of it was because of my husband's disability (mild cerebral palsy) but we couldn't get it in. Tried and failed and switched positions and tried and failed until we gave up and just did other things.

Epic disappointment for both parties as far as having real sex goes...

Its like you wait your whole life for that one moment and then it just doesn't work out the way you had imagined. Lame.


But don't feel to bad for i-am-willow, because her story doesn't end there! She updated the post to include,

I think it was later that week when we actually figured it out. I vaguely remember both of us being so excited just to get it in that we didn't actually accomplish much else beyond that, haha.

But we're doing great now. Been married 5.5yrs and have 3 children. :)

12. Bakkerz12 has a lot of tips on how to make your first time (whether you're married or not) enjoyable.

Most of the top answers are overall negative so I thought I'd weigh in. Our first night was great. We both waited for marriage for personal reasons and had a great first night despite being a bit tired from the wedding day. While I recognize that everyone's experience is by nature different, I think that there were a few key factors: 1. We made it a goal to not be stressed on our wedding day. This was no small goal, we both have our own versions of anxiety. Anything that came up or could stress us out we instead focused on the other person. 2. Embrace the cringe. There's I guess some potential awkwardness if you've saved yourself, so embrace it and laugh when you're not sure what you're doing. It's fun, don't put outside pressure on yourself. 3. If you're trusting someone enough to marry them (all of the trust), then trust that you won't bemoan each other if things don't go perfectly your first time. Who cares? You'll have a lot of time to get better. Learn about what each other likes and doesn't like. It's just a normal part of marriage. 4. If you have expectations based on something you've seen in porn, get that shit out of your head right now. Especially when you're both virgins, none of that is going to work for you anyway. Such unrealistic expectations. 5. Stop reading this and stop worrying about it. You love this person. I'd hope you love this person when things aren't perfect (otherwise don't marry them), so don't worry about this. Have a fun night.


13. Mouthlove credits her good love life overall to having over a year buildup. Pleasure delayers!

Probably your average first timer situation (i.e. quick, a little painful for me, I didn't get much pleasure from it). Our honeymoon was basically non stop sex and experimenting though. The real win was having a year plus of sexual tension fueling our fun for.....well still to this day and we've been married 10 years. It never wore off.

We still get hot thinking about 'that one time we almost did it' (of which there were many such incidences).