We see you, engaged people.
And we see your ring, so carefully placed in your Instagram photos so it can be admired while you can seem like, "This old thing? This old, expensive, diamond thing?" We all know what you're up to, and I'd like to make it even easier for you. Here are some ideas for how to incorporate your engagement ring into an Instagram photo without looking like you meant to. (P.S. Congratulations.)
1. Hold a glass of wine.
If you hold a mason jar full of alcohol at the right angle, you can send a lot of messages to your followers. You're getting married, you're fun, and you're the type of person who pays for jars.
2. Learn how to do nail art. Take a picture of your nail art.
You're not going to have cool nail art and then not Instagram it. And if you happen to have a ring on one of your fingers that signifies that oh, you happen to be in love with a person who you're going to pair off with for life, it would definitely make sense in the shot.
3. Point to a beautiful element of nature, like a flower or tree.
It's important to appreciate our natural surroundings, so if anyone wants to instead focus on some diamond that happens to draw the eye, that person is taking Earth's beauty for granted and that's their own problem.
4. Explain what's in your juice.
"Green juice" leaves a lot of information to be desired. Which green fruits and vegetables specifically are in the juice? Your followers want to know, and of course they want an accompanying visual aid, that you will need to hold. And what are you supposed to do about the symbol on your hand that someone is the maximum amount of into you?
5. Take an in-progress shot of yourself applying the latest viral makeup hashtag.
You would only be doing your part to make a confusing statement: that makeup is either empowering or oppressive or both or neither, and that you're getting married so you're cool.
6. Place your hands in front of your face like, "No! Don't take a picture of me!"
We all know that acting like you don't want to have your picture taken is a power pose. And it's even more powerful if you can flash a huge diamond in the process. If you're really savvy, you'll consider this stance for photos on your actual wedding day.