Bachelor parties are known for alcohol, Vegas, and bros on the loose...and some bros just might get a little too loose. In a recent NSFW Reddit thread, men dished out tales of nights so wild, they just might have ruined the wedding. As commenter fafanta aptly put it, "Welp, from this thread I learned that if I'm cheated on nobody will tell me." Be careful out there.
1. Taildragger33 witnessed a twofer.
In New Orleans our bachelor group good found a bachelorette group and started talking/dancing etc.
It was late in the night at this time, and our bachelor was dancing with their bachelorette mostly at the urging of the bridesmaids because they thought it would be "cute". Not too long into it he gets belligerently handsy and heads a bit up the skirt.
I didn't see the act but spun around when one of the bridesmaids hollered, "Your bachelor just fingered our bachelorette!"...we bounced immediately.
2. Pandamonius84 is a stripper critic and either a really good cousin or really bad cousin.
This happened a couple of years ago.
Cousin was having his bachelors party, but the guys got stuck with the kids so that the ladies could go crazy with their bachelorette party. So it was just pizza and Marvel movie marathon for the party.
Next day I get a message saying that their will be a "real" bachelor party tonight to make up for getting stuck babysitting kids. This turns into a typical drink fest, gambling, gf/wife ranting, etc. Cousins friend than announces that he hired a stripper just as the doorbell rang. Turns out the stripper was my cousins ex gf of 3 years.
So she starts doing her stripper routine, which was not that great imo (clearly not a professional) She spends most of the time dancing for my cousin which I could tell was a clear "bet you wish you kept me." So she's finally done with her "performance" and goes to leave but offers a more "private performance" for the groom. And since the groom had a few to many shots he agrees and both head to the bathroom. All the while all the guys are hooting them on.
4 years later I see his ex at the grocery store with a little girl that looked to be 3 or 4 years old. I just turn around to avoid her seeing me, head to the cashier, grabbed my stuff, and just ran. I never dare tell him since he and his wife are in a happy relationship and trying to have a child together.
3. Oneiropticon took some preventative measures.
Right around the time my brother-in-law to be was drunk enough to get maudlin, his friends and I duct taped him to a tree. Specifically, the tree he'd be getting married under about sixteen hours later.
I will definitely not be having my bachelor party the night before the wedding.
4. There's drunk texting your ex, and then there's drunk-texting-leads-to-wedding-eve-sexting your ex, as TimboCalrissian witnessed.
Bachelor drunk texted his ex when the party started winding down. Got back to where we were staying and he ended up sexting with her for hours. Sending pictures and all that shit. Apparently it happened a few more times after the wedding, too
5. _iwasneverhere_ was never engaged.
I had a bachelor party in Las Vegas. It was amazing everyone had a great time. Except I was never engaged my buddy made up the story so he could go to Vegas and bang hookers. I was filled in about 10min before we sat down to a dinner his wife was attending.
6. Istlion's ex-friend mixed business with pleasure.
Had a friend, he no longer talks to me because he thinks he knows better than everyone else and let politics ruin a friendship....
Anyway, it's this dudes Bachelor party for his 2nd marriage. I'm sure this one will work out since he trapped her with a kid. Anywhoo....dude promises to his wife he wouldn't go to the stripclub. There he is at the club and he gets some dances in the VIP room. And then he pays for it with his AmEx. Except, it's his corporate card.....
So then he's trying to scramble how to have work not find out what he did, get charged to the right card but not have his wife figure out he just spent that much money....
7. Tankpac's tale is currently being pitched to Hollywood as a Hangover-meets-Grumpy Old Men.
Went to a bachelor party that was hosted in an upscale hotel room. When I walked in there was nothing but a bunch of middle aged men sitting around playing poker. I thought I was gonna have a terrible time, so I proceeded to get drunk as hell. Then a small army of strippers walked in and all hell broke loose.
The strippers brought a spring loaded stripper pole but it was too short to reach the ceiling. We had the genious idea of using the coffee table to add some height. We placed it on the table, cocked it back, and it shot through ceiling, making a basketball sized hole.
There was a dick measuring contest between a 70 year old man and a 50 year old man. 70 year old man won. His little brother took a picture of it on his phone and was proudly showing how big his big brothers dick was.
One guy got drunk and told everyone that his wife was a squirter and he can aim the shit and hit objects across the room.
Of course the strippers were not just strippers and everyone mysteriously disappeared at one point or another.
Good times. I never gave so many bro nods the next week at the wedding.
8. SourViking's story is only somewhat a mystery.
I was part of a bachelor party that was strip club hopping in Vegas. The bachelor went back for a private dance, the club has these little rooms with really small beds for private dances. We suddenly see the stripper, holding her outfit pressed against her chest, running to the behind the stage area while a large bouncer is escorting the bachelor out. At the same time another club employee informed us that the bachelor had to leave, we could stay if we wanted to but he had to leave. Of course we all left but he would not tell us any details of what happened. I still talk to the guy and to this day he won't say a word on what went on back there (we all have our theories).
9. OccamsMallet will ruin the word "facepaint" for you.
First Bachelor party when I was 18 and worked in a summer role at a Petroleum Engineering company. My colleagues were all young engineers in their 20's earning the big bucks. We went to the house where the party was and was handed a drink and a door prize number. We went down the stairs into the basement, and the first room had the groom tied to a chair with a drip of some rum drink going into his mouth. The TV had VHS porn on it (this was back then). In came strippers, which proceeded to use their breasts to "facepaint" all the participants. After awhile, some of the girls left, while the others did the traditional "groom tied to a chair and having a lapdance" process. Turns out the "door prize" was one of the strippers. I assumed that all Bachelor parties would be similar .... I can say, now, 35 years later... no.
10. For Salomanasx, $100 saved is $100 earned.
My buddy who I worked with had a private bachelor party thrown for him at a friends house. The host hired two strippers to be topless dealers for the poker games. Once the poker games ended the girls did lap dances for the guys at the party but nothing too crazy.
I left the party for a little, probably to have a cigarette, and I came back to to see a line of guys next to one of the bedroom doors with the door closed. The groom was no where to be found. I asked around even though I already knew the answer of where the groom could be, and was told "Don't worry, he's only getting a hummer. If you want one too its $100."
I decided against spending $100 for a BJ from a girl who just sucked 8 or so many dicks before mine. Also, it turned out later that the groom did bang that stripper. As far as I know the bride never found out. They have had their issues so it possible it was leaked and she forgave it.
On a side note the BJ giving stripper turned out to be related to a girl who we also worked with. I was hanging out with the girl when the stripper walked in holding her kid. It was a little awkward but i'm pretty sure she didn't recognize me.
TL;DR: Buddy at his bachelor party banged the stripper and then she offered BJs for $100 to the rest of the guys there.