Advertising

By all accounts, Pippa Middleton had the perfect wedding. She had the fairytale white lace dress, the five-course sit down-dinner and the £100,000 marquee erected right in her family's garden. And her wedding was attended by literal royalty, taboot.

giphy

There just may be one thing that spoiled Pippa's special day— a particularly bawdy best man's speech.

Justin Johannsen, longtime friend of the groom, was given the honor of being the best man and thus delivering the best man speech at Pippa Middleton and James Matthews' wedding. He isn't the first groomsman to turn his speech into his own personal open mic, but according to The Daily Mail, his dirty jokes didn't exactly land, and received a cold reception from guests.

Advertising

Toward the beginning of the speech, Johannsen joked about where he kept Pippa's wedding ring for safe keeping.

Other than having to having to carry all of his baggage, the hard part was to keep the rings safe. James doesn't ok now this but I have a habit of losing things. Not often, but they are usually quite expensive. So I resolved to keep them on my person the entire time that they were in my custody. We both got up for a run early this morning and James jokingly asked if the rings were on my person. I had them in a shower cap tucked in my shorts. He said "really, in a shower cap? I don't want that in my head when I am putting the ring on Pippa's finger in the church. I'm sure it wasn't on your mind in the church, but it was on your mind now, sorry Pippa.

Advertising
Okay, that could have been worse. What else ya got, Johannsen?
Okay, that could have been worse. What else ya got, Johannsen?

He also took a moment to reference the bride's famous behind. At her wedding. In front of many dignified guests.

Firstly, some messages from those who couldn't be here today. 'Wish Pippa the best with the hair. We have really enjoyed seeing you and how you have mastered interpretive dance. Don't forget to buttock clench on the star jumps.' That's from Steve and the gang at the Crazy Feet dance studio in Soho.'

And then made this joke that not only was out of place, but sounded like it was ripped out of a cheesy joke book.

I'm not married. But I took a girl home, my mother didn't like her. Took another girl home and my mother still didn't like her. So I went out and picked a girl that looked like my mother, took her home, and my father didn't like her.

Advertising

He discussed a particularly rowdy boy's weekend the two took when they were both single.

There was a time when both James and I were single. We took ourselves off on a boys' weekend. I proclaimed to James that I was going to try it on with anything that moves. I said to James, "what are you going to do?" He said: "Stand very still."

Okay, that one was pretty good.
Okay, that one was pretty good.

But Pippa might not take too kindly to this next joke:

Now to the love of James' life: beautiful, energetic, loyal, soft-mouthed, comes on command, great behind. But that is enough about Jame's spaniel, Rafa, I'm here to talk about James' love, Pippa.

Advertising

Finally, Johannsen concluded his 10-minute address with this eyebrow raising joke:

With the wedding shadowed in secrecy, I can reveal, and wish the bride and groom a happy honeymoon in North Wales. At least that's where I presume they are going as I heard Spencer saying that after the wedding, he was going to Bangor for two weeks. Enjoy the Welsh coast, guys.

OH DAMN!
OH DAMN!
giphy

Of course, there were a few really lovely things said in the speech as well, which you can read here.

What do you think? Did Johannsen cross the line?