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Hi Everyone. I see a lot of unfamiliar faces out there, because I was the only childhood friend even invited to this wedding.

You guys look like you're in love, I guess. (via Thinkstock)
You guys look like you're in love, I guess. (via Thinkstock)

Let's hear it for the bride and groom, Nicole and... Specter? Scooter? Spencer? Spencer. I just met him for the first time in the receiving line. 

I know that Nicole is many different things to people here today. She's a daughter, a sister, a wife — and she's a former best friend whose only communication with me over the last 14 years has been liking my Facebook statuses, but only the ones where I post pictures of my cat, and none of the ones about how my life is actually going. And she's a woman who would invite me to her wedding and ask me to speak even though we know nothing about each other as adults. Nicole, I want you to know that when I get married, there is no way in hell I am asking you to speak at my wedding. That's my gift to you.