The 18 best stories of groomsmen behaving even worse than expected.

The 18 best stories of groomsmen behaving even worse than expected.
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The idea of the best man or groomsman behaving like a jackass at a wedding is a total cliché, but one that is based in truth. A groomsman (a.k.a. not the best man) ruining his supposed best friend's wedding is one of those awful traditions nobody wants but still happens, like smashing cake in the bride's face, or an unwise post-reception hookup. Here are some great stories about the worst best men Reddit users have ever encountered.

The 18 best stories of groomsmen behaving even worse than expected.
"LOL we're in a tiny caaaaaar!" *pukes*
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1. OldAndSlow remembers a groomsmen who found the one time that isn’t good for pizza.

One of the groomsmen had a pizza delivered during the ceremony. The pizza guy walked up the center aisle, called out the groomsman's name. The groomsman paid for the pizza and placed it on the ground next to him. All in complete silence. Nobody laughed. Nobody moved. The minister just did this laser-death-stare at the pizza guy and then at the groomsmen. After the pizza guy left, there was a long moment of more silence. And then the minister continued from where he left off. It was extremely awkward for everyone.

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2. Neg9’s father once attended a wedding where the best man didn’t do the lame “I forgot the ring” gag, but he did forget the bride’s name.

My dad was the best man at this one wedding. During the reception, when he was about to give a speech, he forgot the bride's name. He spent a good ten seconds hastily whispering to himself random names of girls that could possibly be the wife. Since he was holding the mic, everyone in the room could hear it. To others, it sounded like a long list of the groom's past girlfriends.

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3. codymcn went to a wedding where the best man got the job done…eventually.

One time the best man forgot the ring, and when the officiant asked for the ring he was just like "Yeah I forgot it", but to their credit they all took it like champs and moved right along and right after the ceremony - before the reception he hopped in his car, booked it back to the hotel, grabbed the ring, and came right back with it.


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4. This best man so thoroughly embarrassed himself, he deleted his Reddit account.

I was the best man at my brothers wedding. I got so nervous during my speech, the only thing I could manage to get out was " dude your married." I really hope no one remembers that one.


5. CrossFox42 got to witness the least funny, least clever thing of all time.

The best man's speech was “Never Gonna Give You Up” in soft spoken word.

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6. The husband of aveganliterary should’ve been more specific with the DJ.

My husband was a groomsman for one of his best friends a few years back. They used to go around late at night with a boom box playing "Lollipop" (1950s girl-group song) while causing harmless mischief (rearranging lawn ornaments and so forth). So at the wedding reception my husband sneaks over to the DJ and requests the song to surprise his friend. He even makes sure to ask the DJ if he has that specific song so the friend will get the joke. DJ assures him he has it. Night starts winding down and no song, we assume he forgot, oh well. Then out of nowhere the DJ comes on with "And now a special request for the groom" and plays a rap song about blow jobs (mind you, the groom is really not into rap). The bride looks horrified and we're trying to figure out what the hell is going on and then I catch a lyric or two and realize the moron DJ is playing the Lil' Wayne song "Lollipop" instead of the one my husband asked for.

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7. brewbaron had a best man who did not understand the importance of timing.

And 2 mins after I was married, my best man (who'd been to my school reunion the night before) mentioned that the hottest girl in high school had inquired whether I was single or not...


8. McSippy saw a best man who got all his best jokes from Wayne’s World.

Best man goes up, and says "Ok my speech is going to be interactive, every time I pause I need you to say 'That's what she said'" He then proceeded to make the most awkward speech of all time. People stopped participating after the first one. Best part was the bride got up and stopped him by yelling at him. He left like 15 minutes after that.

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9. mushperv’s story is a solid argument for getting married at the Justice of the Peace.

The best man got in three fights/arguments before the reception was over. First, before the wedding started, he got into an argument and shoving match with his father. Second, at the reception, he started yelling at the bride, calling her a "bitch" and a "whore.” Then about ten minutes later, the groom found out about what was said to the bride and attacked him, sucker punching him and starting a real brewhaha.

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10. JaimeLannister10’s story is a solid argument for avoiding the Justice of the Peace.

Best man (20-something) was making out with the Justice of the Peace (she was at least in her 50s, maybe 60s). This was bad enough as is, but the fun really began when the justice's husband came into the reception hall and got a little ticked off. Shoes were thrown and the best man was chased away by the old man.


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11. All thing’s must pass (out), even this guy in the wedding that noodle-face saw.

Father-in-law was in the wedding, so he was standing with the groomsmen. He's a big jokester, so when we saw him walking backwards really fast we figured it was some joke. Then he fell and smashed his head. Oh shit he's passed out. Had to call an ambulance and everything. Turns out he locked his knees, that in combination with the August heat made him pass out.


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12. And that’s how flasfyr3 got a clear path to the bar at the reception.

Best Man speech starts off boilerplate, talking about the groom being swell. A minute in it leaves the rails and goes into a 15 minute explanation of best man's alcoholism. Took a two minute break to cry, then back at it. Eventually makes it back to how the groom was a good friend in spite of this.


13. Thanks to mostlylurking1 we now all know what a “jumbone” is.Top of Form

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Best man is a recovering alcoholic starts drinking after years of being sober, about 10 min into reception. a small group of friends and me are having a drink with him when he tells his wife to get her jumbone. She proceeds to pull out his dick, bite it sideways like a dog with a bone, and makes puppy noises.


14. henrijonesjr has catered lots of weddings, but this one was apparently the worst.

The best man who got up and started his speech, re-telling all the details of the buck's night. The poor bride was hiding her head in her hands while the best man talks about the groom climbing on stage at a strip joint and eating a banana out of the stripper.

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15. Yeah, well, this story from 4gbds proves that being a dumbass isn’t curable.

The bride had a best man instead of a maid of honor. During the best man's speech he tells the story of how he met the bride in college, she cured him of his homosexuality, and took his virginity. He then starts to cry and professes his love for her. You'd think at this point somebody would run up there and punch him in the face, but the dude was in a wheelchair. I guess you can't punch a dude in a wheelchair.

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16. According to Chefbexter, “sorry" just doesn’t cut it.

I saw a groomsmen dancing all drunk and he accidentally punched a bridesmaid in the face and broke her nose. Then he followed her to the bathroom where she was crying and bleeding and tried to convince her she shouldn't be mad at him because it was an accident.


17. PhishnChips’s wedding was ruined by those old standbys: golf carts and blood.

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Our wedding and reception was at a golf course. While we were outside taking pictures one of the golfers drove their golf cart to the return then handed the keys to one of the groomsmen thinking he was some sort of fancy golf cart valet or something (he was in a tux). The groomsmen instantly put that key in his pocket. Fast forward to the drunkfest reception. My friends and I were all bartenders, servers, musicians, drunks, etc., people keep leaving then reappearing. They were all taking rides throughout the golf course. After a few hours of these shenanigans one of the groomsmen comes running in covered in blood. They had a bunch of people hanging on the golfkart and when they went to make a turn it flipped over. These idiots had cocktail glasses and when they crashed it sliced everyone up, very badly. EMS was called and there were emergency surgeries and the like.

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18. At least StChas77 doesn’t have any horror stories about his groomsmen.

At my wedding, two of my groomsmen got lost on the way to the reception (a mile and a half away, mind you) and didn't show up until there was about 45 minutes left.

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