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Craig Holden of Newport, Wales recently split up with his wife after ten years together. Trying to put his life back together, the 28-year-old scientist decided to go online and sell the diamond engagement ring she had returned to him. But because he was still filled with burning rage and resentment, he decided to have some fun with the listing. That ad, which he posted on the U.K. classified site Gumtree, has since gone viral.

Satan has good taste.
Satan has good taste.
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Here's his full description:

As a simple, quiet, reserved and generous gentleman I began courting a young lady (who would then spawn into Satan, through witchcraft or voodoo - who knew?) who I then regrettably proposed to after seeing her for 3 years, everything was fine, we were young everything was fine, then it began, the rage, it boiled, her eyes glazed over and her head span 360 degrees on a daily basis and she spewed venomous insults toward my aching heart.

I, suffering with anxiety thought it was I that was the problem, oh no. What was the real problem was the possession of the Well Devil, a devil that dwelled in the depths of, well, wells.... self explanatory. Fast forward to the ten year mark, one day Satan awoke from its slumber and said "listen here, mere mortal... I *SATAN* (can't use her real name for legal reasons) don't like you" in a nutshell, so as I was about to unleash a torrent of truth upon the vile beast, Jesus appeared to me and said "listen here child, you must leave, you must go forth and become at one with your inner self. Become happy, I died for your sins, so go sinning bro!!" So, I packed my bags and left.

The end - and now I'm happy.

Serious offers only, ring is size fat and it's 1/4 carat, gold and selling as the ring, not for the gold.

Disclaimer - although worn by Satan herself it does not possess any magical powers or any black magic. Cannot guarantee it's 100% safe to be worn by those of faith.

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Although Holden paid £1,000 for the ring, he marked it down to a very reasonable £200 (later £150) on his listing, because he understood that the unhappy history might be a deterrent. He told The Sun,

As a warning to a potential buyer, I figured I’d give a backstory as buying a second hand engagement ring could be see as bad luck to many. It’s almost like buying a haunted doll.

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Still, I'm sure that he'll find a buyer. As of press time, his listing has only been live for five days. And there are plenty of guys out there who are willing to overlook a little Satan to save £800 ($970) on a ring. Whoever buys it will just have to make sure his fiancée doesn't find out the truth. Or else he might have to deal with a demon of his own.

Sources: h/t The Sun