Advertising - I'm sure I'll enjoy your wedding despite not enjoying any other wedding I've ever been to

For the friend to whom you owe enough favors to reluctantly celebrate their happiness.

With the invites already out and the RSVPs already past due, you've probably got some tough decisions to make this summer about which friends actually deserve your attendance, which friends can afford a good enough bar to drag you out, and finally, which friends you can trust with your scheme to fake your own death to get out of Mary and Bill's outdoor wedding in Harrisburg. Or you could just rely on these cards to get you out of, and into, whatever nuptial troubles you want. Send them to the happy couple, other disgruntled guests, or create your own gem to offend everyone involved with the institution of marriage.